Pray for Rain
by angrbodagiantess
Summary: Thor has returned to Earth with Loki in tow, but there's something terribly wrong with the situation and the Avengers must learn to cope, along with the two brothers. Post-Avengers, h/c, Loki-whump. No slash, brotherly love. Full cast of Avengers, warnings inside.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Here I am doing it _again_! Somebody- you guys, slap me or something- I'm uploading unfinished stories again. And I'm still in the middle of one of my other stories! Ugh, oh well. This is my first straight-up h/c fic. I'll admit there's not much in the way of an actual plot to what I've written so far; it's mostly just an excuse to write the Avengers and Loki in a domestic environment, whilst packing in angst and delicious brofeels along the way (and whump. You guys _know_ I survive off of whump; my evilness knows no bounds! XD). The premise isn't exactly unique, but I hope there's some stuff in here that piques your interest. **

**As usual, no slash, features Loki, all the Avengers and possibly others in future chapters (haven't decided yet).****  
**

**Warnings: mentions/memories of past tortures, minimal language, a couple lewd comments from Stark (who else?). The 'M' rating is mostly for the torture stuff.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers, nor Loki, or any of that good stuff, etc.**

* * *

**_Pray For Rain_**

Tony Stark had just dropped something. He wasn't sure _what_ he'd just dropped, because his mind, quite frankly, didn't care at the moment. It fell and clanged on the floor, something metal and heavy- but he paid it no attention.

_Thor_. It was Thor. Standing in front of him, so _suddenly_ in front of him, as though he'd popped out of nowhere, right into Tony's workshop.

Tony cursed something, but he didn't realize it, he just stared, dumbfounded, blinking.

"Uh," he finally got out.

"Anthony Stark," said Thor, a strangely sad and desperate look on the normally sunny face.

Tony was sitting down. He hadn't been sitting down a second ago, but he was sitting now. _Why am I sitting down?_ So he stood up, slowly approaching the thunderer.

"Uh," he said again. "Did you just-" He whipped his head around. _How did he get in here?_ The workshop- _Tony's_ workshop -in Avengers Tower required a key-code to enter. "How did you get in here?" He asked, trying to regain his normally nonchalant composure.

He looked around again, searching for any holes the god might have made whilst barging in here. The god of thunder wasn't exactly the most patient of people, he might have just lost his patience and-

"I require your help, Stark," said the thunderer, his quieted and slightly quaking voice giving Tony pause.

"Right- Okay. And, uh, it's just 'Tony'." No matter how many times he had told him, it was always, 'Stark', 'Son of Howard', 'Man of Iron', 'Metal Man'- Tony was tired of it ten minutes after he met the blonde god.

Thor hadn't moved. Which was strange, since he normally gave everyone within hugging distance- which was really just everyone within earshot -a crushing embrace that never failed to bruise.

"What with?" Stark asked, trying to go about his business as if nothing strange was happening. He moved things around the work table, not _really _doing anything, but he suddenly felt the need to _look_ busy. When Thor didn't say anything, he asked again, without looking at the god: "So are you gonna tell me how you got in here, or am I gonna have to guess-"

Tony stopped. Thor had moved. Just one step to the side.

Then Tony realized, he and Thor weren't the only ones in this room.

.

His head was spinning, his eyes wide, his body rigid. Tony Stark did _not_ like what he was seeing.

"What the f- I- How did-" His mouth was moving but his words weren't working right. Finally, one word made it out that he was actually _trying_ to get out: "_Loki?_"

Because there before the genius was none other than the god of mischief himself, brother of Thor, trickster extraordinaire, and would-be conqueror of Earth.

"Thor..." Tony was glad his voice was back. "Did you...hit me in the head recently and I don't remember? Because, I'm pretty sure I'm hallucinating your brother. Not the best hallucination, I admit, but who says hallucinations have to be something you _want_ to see-"

"Stark," interrupted Thor, looking like he wanted to step closer to explain, but he remained next to his brother, his hand around the smaller god's arm.

"Please tell me I'm imagining him, Thor..." Tony blinked several times, as though that would make the image before him change.

"You are not imagining him, my friend," said Thor, a sadness still lingering behind cobalt blue eyes.

And suddenly Tony noticed Thor's armor. The thunder god's typically pristine armor was marred by splotches of blood and smeared dirt, and the edges of his red cape were burned. He sported no injuries that Tony could see- _Thank God_ -but he looked as though he had just been through a prolonged battle.

And Loki... _What's wrong with his eyes?_ Stark stared at the trickster, mouth agape. _And what the fu-!_ "Thor." Tony could barely get the name out, he couldn't take his eyes off the dark-haired god.

"Yes, Stark?" Thor said quietly, letting his friend observe at his own pace.

"Why are his lips sewn shut?" It didn't sound like a question, even though it was. Tony realized his voice was an octave higher, but he was surprised he managed to even ask anything at all. "And...his eyes...what's up with..."

Thor was nodding, and Tony kept staring, staring at the enemy he once fought. He doesn't notice that Thor hasn't answered him.

Loki's eyes are _white_, so white; as though he's blind. And by the way he stares at seemingly nothing, it's a good bet he is. There's an odd spider-like white pattern spread around his eyes, as though someone had spilled some pale liquid on them and he couldn't dry it off. And his lips... Tony can't take his eyes off them. Thread. Black thread. Traces of blood lingering where the string pierced his skin.

"What-" Tony tries to speak, but his throat is suddenly dry.

"I have come to seek asylum for my brother," Thor blurts out.

Tony blinked rapidly, still unable to tear his gaze from the as-yet unmoving trickster god. "Uh-huh," the billionaire says blankly, not really listening.

The blonde puts an arm around his younger brother, to which the younger moves his head slightly, as if to acknowledge the movement.

While Thor is wearing his usual armor, Loki is wearing a plain grey long-sleeved shirt- quite torn and frayed around the edges -and a pair of dark trousers in a similar condition. He wears no shoes.

"Stark!" bellows Thor, and Tony jumps and jerks his head to him. "I apologize for my abruptness...and," he hesitates, looking to his brother, who still hasn't moved, "I know you may not wish to offer us aid."

Tony stares at the two, body and mind feeling heavy suddenly. "Well... I didn't say that. Actually I... don't think I've said much of anything yet," he smirked. Stark knew he was a talker, being quiet was _not _his thing.

Thor gave a small smile in return- a _very _small smile, and the sight of something so withered on a face so accustomed to bright, sunny smiles... It didn't look right.

"Are you..? What's going on?" Tony asks, completely forgetting whatever Thor had said earlier.

The thunderer doesn't seem to notice either, "I have come to Earth to ask asylum for my brother."

Tony furrows his brow, "I'm sorry, what?"

Thor sighs, "May we..." he looks around, "discuss this in a more comfortable venue?"

"Oh," Stark's eyebrows go up. "Oh sure, uh..." He scratches the back of his head, looking around. "Yeah, sure. Upstairs."

.

The ride up the tower is one of the strangest Tony has ever been on. _Why didn't I build bigger elevators?_

Thor had led his, apparently, blind and gagged brother onto the elevator, not saying a word the whole way.

"So...Loki..." Stark couldn't help it, the quiet was unnerving him. It didn't occur to him that Loki couldn't answer. "Having fun your second time in my tower?" It was almost a perverse question, Tony knew, but he just said whatever first popped in his head.

Loki said nothing, as predicted, but Thor said something he wasn't expecting. "He cannot hear you."

_What?_ "What?" _He is _not_ about to tell me-_

"Loki is..." Thor stared at the opposite wall, his face purposefully away from the inventor. "Loki cannot hear, either..."

Tony swallowed. He didn't say anything, he _couldn't_ say anything.

The trickster's face was somber, blank; head tilted down. White eyes half-lidded staring at the floor- staring at nothing. He leaned on Thor and Thor kept a protective arm around his shoulders.

The air was too close in here. Tony wanted out. He wanted to get off on this floor, he wanted the infernal moving contraption to _stop_. But most of all, he wanted his mind to stop _thinking_. Stop thinking about what all this means. Stop thinking about what it might be like to-

_Why did I have to make such a tall building?_ He was busy cursing his ego when the metal doors slid open.

* * *

**A/N: ****This is a shorter chapter than the later ones. As I said, not much plot in this story outside of Loki and the Avengers interacting socially and trying to help him recover. Other than that, there's ridiculous amounts of brotherly Thor and Loki huggles (yes, that's hugs and snuggles together, you know you love that word), so if you don't like that- run while you still can!**

**I'll be uploading chapter 2 tomorrow, _however_, whenever I'm in the middle of one of my other stories, this one will take a backseat so I won't get behind on updating the others. I'm afraid that means updates for this one might be sporadic- although gaps between chapters will be no longer than a month (I'm hoping).**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Chapter one was too short, and more like a prologue, so here's the second chapter as promised. I originally meant to upload it along with chapter one, but it was late by the time I finished proofreading it yesterday so I didn't.**

**Anyway, this chapter's longer, hope you guys likey!**

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**Chapter 2**

Thankfully, there was no one up at this hour, no one to greet them and complicate things even more than they already were. The two brothers sat on a couch together- no surprise there -and Stark on the one opposite. Thor still kept an arm around Loki's shoulders. The trickster did nothing out of the ordinary; his eyes unmoving, devoid of emotion.

"So," Stark said, uncertain how to begin. "Want anything to drink?" Thor stared at him. "No? Are you sure?" The thunderer nodded twice, face blank, although something like anticipation lingered behind the somber mask.

Tony himself could have used a drink, but he couldn't bring himself to get one at the moment- it just felt... inappropriate. So instead he just nodded, and looked around. _Is he expecting me to ask questions? _

Suddenly Thor spoke, "Anthony..."

Tony raised his eyebrows at the name, but didn't feel the need to correct the god.

"I..." continued Thor. "I know you require explanation for what has happened, but..." he trailed off, looking to his brother for a moment, then down to the floor. "It is a long tale." He looked to Tony. "Would you prefer the others to be present for the telling?"

That was actually a valid question, but Tony still didn't think it would be a good idea to crowd the two gods, given the situation. _Well, _thought Tony, as though someone could hear him, _I can be considerate when I _need _to be_. He smirked a little to himself before answering. "Uhh...no. I mean, I get what you're saying, but... Well, let's just say it would probably be best to-" he searched for the right words "-keep things quiet for right now." Thor narrowed his eyes just a fraction. "Just for now."

Thor nodded. This uncharacteristic _quietness_ was beginning to unnerve Tony. What happened to that over-exuberant thunder god everyone knew?

"So," said Tony, "you've been gone a few months now, but him," he pointed at Loki. "He's been gone what- two years? What's happened since then?"

Thor hesitated but answered. "Loki has been serving his sentence since he returned."

Tony nodded. "Okay. And... is his punishment over, or..." he trailed off. It didn't _look_ like his punishment was over. In fact, it looked like Thor was just taking him out for a stroll or something. Was the thunderer planning on returning his brother to... whatever his punishment was?

"No," answered Thor. "I..."

Tony cocked his head. "No?" Thor avoided his eyes. "Then... what's he doing here? You didn't like, sneak him out or something, did you?" said Tony in a humored tone. Thor said nothing; Tony's face fell. "You didn't, right?" he deadpanned. He stared at Thor, then glanced at Loki, then back at Thor. "Thor-?"

"I could not leave my brother to this torture any longer." The conviction in the god's voice actually sent a shiver down Tony's spine. Thor was always making grand statements- which always sounded somewhat hilarious given his archaic speech patterns, at least to Tony -but this time, Tony couldn't help but respect the hard-bitten words.

Tony leaned forward, sitting on the edge of his seat. "Thor. Where have you been the last few months? We haven't heard a peep from you in all that time."

"I was," Thor rubbed a hand through his hair. "I was looking for Loki. I didn't find him until about a week ago."

The inventor raised his brows. "Oh? You didn't know where he was being kept?"

Thor shook his head, "No. Our father," his face grew stern. "The All-father refused to tell me where Loki was being held. I have been on a long journey to find him." Tony could see tears welling up in the god's eyes. "And when I did..." he looked down. "And when I did I found... this."

_This..._ The statement wasn't so much about Loki, but about his _state_. That the once-proud and powerful trickster god, who had tried to take over a whole planet, had been reduced to... _this_. This creature who was obviously just a fraction of what he once was. Tony breathed out through his nose. "Is he..." He wasn't sure what to say. "Why didn't you... why didn't you take the stitches out?"

Thor's eyes finally met his; anger lingered for only a fraction of a second, but was soon buried by what looked like exhaustion and grief. "I have tried." The thunderer's shoulders slumped. "They are enchanted. No knife or edge could cut these strings."

Tony was, once _again_, at a loss for words. _But surely they would have removed them eventually?_ But he couldn't make the words come out. He managed to ask something else. "And how long has he been..." Tony indicated his own mouth with a wave of his hand.

"I am uncertain. At least a year, I believe."

Tony nearly choked on his own spit. "A year?! A-A year? Seriously, what- how-?"

Thor looked a little surprised. "We can survive for a considerable length of time without food or water, Stark... Although, it is not recommended." The thunderer gave a sad smile.

The inventor nodded absently, eyes wide. _He _is_ serious._ He still couldn't quite believe it. _Alien gods..._ More questions tumbled out of his mouth. "And... his eyes?"

Thor frowned. "Venom," came the simple answer.

There was a pregnant pause. "Venom," Tony repeated, staring. "Just what the hell does that mean?"

There was a sigh, "That was his final punishment: to have the venom of a serpent drip onto his face until... I don't know..." Thor's face scrunched up a little, clearly not wishing to remember, although it was apparently only a week or so ago. "I found him and he was-" The god covered his face with one hand. "He was..." Thor took a deep breath, not lifting his face. "He couldn't even scream..."

Tony was absently nodding, eyes like saucers, staring at nothing. "Right..." came his unthinking words.

Thor sniffled a little and Tony realized the god was crying. "Stark?"

"Huh?" he answered without thinking, eyes involuntarily moving to the blonde god, whose eyes were slightly red but not wet.

"May I ask a favor?"

Stark stared, but nodded.

"My brother has not had water in a very long time, may I-"

"Oh," said Tony, suddenly snapping back to himself. "Oh yeah, sure. Right. Sure, I'll- I'll get some." He stood up, body rigid, uncertain. "Um," he thought out loud. "How do we get him to..." Thor said nothing. Tony waved a hand dismissively. "Never mind, never mind. Straws. Right. I'll be back in a sec."

.

Several minutes later Tony was back with a cup of lukewarm water- he wasn't sure if it should be cold or not, better safe than sorry, though -and a single, thin white straw.

Thor didn't hear him approaching, so Tony walked quietly closer, suddenly curious at the sight before him.

Loki was leaning on his brother, head resting on his shoulder. Thor's lips were moving, whispering something that sounded like soothing words, as though Loki could hear. _Can he?_ Tony wondered, but soon realized it was probably a compulsion the older brother couldn't help. With the arm that was circled around Loki, Thor carded a hand through the younger god's hair. Next, Thor leaned back a little from Loki, then with his lips against the younger's forehead spoke a few more words. Then with both hands on the sides of his brother's head, Thor placed two kisses on his forehead, then the bridge of his nose, then his left cheek.

Tony stared. He couldn't _not _stare. Loki's face was toward Tony, and the inventor noticed that the trickster did nothing to stop Thor, and in fact, he seemed to be leaning in to the thunderer's affectionate touches. Curiosity rising, Tony took a step forward, but Thor heard him and turned.

"Oh," said Tony, feeling as though he'd been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to. "Uh..."

Thor smiled a little and laid Loki's head on his shoulder once again. "You wonder at my actions?"

Tony raised his brows and sat down on a chair near the two. "I...guess. Yeah."

The god nodded. "Loki cannot see, nor speak, nor hear. Only his sense of touch remains. I will show him he is safe any way I can." Technically, Tony thought, his sense of taste and smell remain, too- although he didn't really know. But those were hardly important senses in the grand scheme of things. Even so, he understood. It was the only way Loki could communicate, and for others to communicate with _him_ as well.

Tony tilted his head and looked at the dark-haired god. "I get it. No need to explain." Even though he already did. Tony indicated the cup in his hand, "How do we..?"

Thor lifted one of Loki's hands up, and Loki kept his hand raised after Thor let go. The thunder god then took the cup and placed it in the trickster's hand. The younger god frowned a little at the shape, then took his other hand and dipped a finger into the cup, feeling the liquid, then the straw. Loki made a small whining noise, apparently distraught at something, head tipping toward Thor.

The thunder god placed his face against the side of Loki's head and said: "It's alright, brother, it is only water." He then rubbed a hand up and down Loki's back, as though to convey those words in motions.

Loki continued to frown, clearly worried, but nodded nonetheless, apparently trusting his older brother not to poison him- or whatever he was worried about.

Thor moved both arms to help his brother drink, but when the protective arm around him disappeared, Loki whined again, looking toward Thor, agitated. Thor sighed and returned his arm to its previous position on Loki's back.

"Man of iron," Tony perked up. "Can you..?"

Tony hesitated for a second then understood what the thunder god was asking. "Oh. Sure. I'll just-" Stark knelt down in front of the two brothers, then helped Loki direct the cup toward his mouth.

Since the trickster might have difficulty in understand or even directing a straw, Tony grabbed it and- with an involuntary wince -helped the thin plastic touch the damaged lips.

At first Loki took the straw and, with Tony's help, maneuvered it between his dry lips, but after only a few sips, Loki jerked back leaving the cup in Stark's hands, as well as the straw. The trickster then shrunk back, against the back of the couch, and proceeded to hide behind Thor- as best he could with the space so small -as the thunder god let go out of surprise. Two shaking hands grasped at Thor's red cape as Loki hid his face against his brother's back and lifted his legs to his chest, although he couldn't quite fit them behind Thor.

"What the hell," said Stark, startled.

Thor sighed. "I am sorry, it is not your fault."

"Not my- What did I do?"

The god tried to untangle his brother from behind him but Loki seemed adamant to stay where he was. "You did nothing, Anthony. Loki simply realized there was another in his presence."

Tony started for a moment, then produced an 'o' with his mouth when he realized what had happened. Loki had probably had no idea that Tony was even there. The second Thor seemed to be both holding him and helping him drink with two hands as well... Well, he could have assumed Thor had sprung an extra limb or he could jump to the first logical conclusion, which obviously he did.

A muffled whimper escaped from behind Thor and both the thunder god and the inventor looked distraught at the sound.

_Why the hell am I even caring about this guy?_ asked Tony to himself. The immediate answer was: _Because you're not a cold-hearted bastard, that's why._

Thor sat unmoving for a moment, clearly both tired and worried for his brother. The three men did nothing for a while, then Thor spoke: "Stark?"

Tony lifted his brows in question.

"May he touch your beard?"

The inventor's eyes widened, staring. "Say what." He considered for a moment that Thor had lost his mind- maybe insanity was contagious? Hanging around Loki all day long?

The thunderer smiled a little in embarrassment. "I apologize, allow me to explain: Loki is unaware that he is even on Midgard," Tony perked an eyebrow at that. "If he were to touch your... very distinctive beard, he may come to understand where he is."

"Uh," was all Tony managed, at least for a few seconds. "I'm sorry, and is touching my beard- which he's only seen a couple times, _two years_ ago -going to help tell him where he is? Are you seri- Really?"

Thor nodded. "I know my brother. He has a very good memory; he would not have forgotten. And I have never seen a beard like yours; even on Asgard."

Tony stroked his beard unconsciously, almost proudly. "Even so, is he really gonna want to _be_ on Midgard...Earth, whatever. I doubt he'll actually be happy about that."

The thunder god tilted his head in acknowledgement. "Perhaps. But Asgard would be far worse. It was they who sentenced him to such tortures... Earth is not ideal, but..." he trailed off, obviously hoping Tony would get it.

He _did_ get it, but it was still weird. But oh well, what's the big deal, anyway? So he nodded in agreement.

Thor nodded in return, then tried his best to turn around to see his still-hiding brother. When Loki made noises of protest at Thor trying to move an arm around him to extract him from his back, the older god grabbed one of Loki's wrists- gently, Tony noticed -and moved him back to where he had been sitting. Loki scowled fiercely, probably not appreciating being manhandled, but acquiesced anyway, although he still shrunk back against the couch, and kept his knees up to his chest protectively.

Tony then jutted out his chin, waiting for Thor to do... whatever he was trying to do. The thunder god chuckled a little at the inventor's face, but once again moved one of Loki's hands, until the too-thin fingers touched Tony's face.

An expression full of curiosity fell over Loki as he traced the lines of Tony's beard. Next, confusion flitted over it, then, finally a moment of recognition. The trickster's eyes blew wide-open as he made a high-pitched keening noise and scrambled back to his previous position behind Thor.

Although he sighed tiredly, this time Thor scooted a little forward allowing his brother to hide behind him, long legs sticking out awkwardly from behind Thor as the side of Loki's face rubbed into the cape as his hands grasped at the red cloth. Thor looked so tired.

"So," said Tony, breaking the silence. "I guess he knows where he is?"

Thor nodded with a tired smile. "Verily."

"Right. Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"I get everything else, but... why can't he hear?"

Thor's face was blank. "The venom. Loki was restrained face-up, the venom was very powerful, and- magical, it damaged more than his eyes."

Tony nodded slowly, understanding. _Wow. That sucks._ A thought occurred to him. "Won't he heal? I mean... eventually?"

A spark of something, something _positive_ jumped into Thor's eyes. "Yes," he nodded. "Eventually his hearing and eyesight will return."

Stark sighed a little in relief, he wasn't sure why. _Why am _I _so relieved?_ "Well, that's something, at least..."

"Although," the spark all but left Thor's eyes, but not completely. "It will take a considerable amount of time with his magic bound. Especially his eyesight."

"Still," said Stark, determined to bring back that _something_. "At least he _will_ get them back, right?"

The something didn't quite come back fully, but enough of it returned to the god of thunder's face that Stark smiled a little, even if he felt a little stupid doing it.

Loki rested against Thor's back, apparently content to remain there for the rest of the day.

Thor sighed again, but it was less tired this time.

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**A/N: Oh man, am I mean to Loki or am I mean? I have read quite a few 'lips sewn shut' stories out there, and a few 'venom in the eyes' ones, but nothing yet that combined the two; and here, why not just go all out and make him deaf, too? I thought it might be too angsty or otherwise weird to write, however, I've found it quite a challenge, but in a fun way (but not fun for the characters, lol). How _does_ one write from the perspective of someone missing three vital senses? ;D**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Since you guys have been sooo awesome, reviewing and alerting and all that good stuff, I've squeezed in some time here on the weekend to proofread this chapter so I can post it. I can't guarantee updates this quickly in the future, but since I've already written a few chapters, might as well let you guys read them! ;D**

**Hope you enjoy!**

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**Chapter 3**

Thor hadn't told Stark _everything_, he had felt that more details could wait until later. Both he and Loki needed rest, as it had been almost a week since either of them had gotten much sleep.

After coaxing Loki out of his hiding place behind Thor, both he and Stark were able to persuade the trickster to drink a little more water, although once the younger god had started they had to prevent him from drinking _too_ much, knowing it might upset his stomach. The mischief god had protested with whines, then pouted like a child, then tried what Stark called 'puppy-dog eyes' to be allowed to drink more- although the effect was lessened given the unnatural look of his eyes. Both had chuckled at the display, but Thor tried his best to convey 'later', although neither was sure if Loki had truly understood.

Stark had promised not to tell the others anything until Thor had a chance to speak with them, although they both knew the inventor was a terrible liar. At least both Romanoff and Barton were away on missions, Thor did not look forward to explaining the situation to them. Rogers would no doubt be the easiest to inform, his compassion greater than any Thor had ever met. Banner was away for a couple of days, Tony had informed him, but he too would probably be easy to persuade to grant asylum.

After helping Loki bathe and change into night clothes and settling him into their bed, Thor took a shower himself and changed into Midgardian attire, something he had learned to appreciate given their simplicity.

When Thor approached the bed, he started when he noticed Loki's eyes were wide open, curled up on his side and surrounded by thick covers.

"Loki?" he said, even though he knew his brother couldn't hear him.

And when the bed dipped as Thor moved to comfort him, Loki flinched back, whimpering softly. Thor's shoulders slumped. He honestly had very little clue as to what was going through Loki's mind at any given moment. He had to constantly consider what it was like being deaf, blind, and mute all at once- how vulnerable that would feel. Loki was essentially helpless being deprived of so many of his senses. _And his magic_, Thor thought. _Loki has been deprived of that as well. _Thor had forgotten. Without his words, Loki could not cast spells. How dark his world must be...

So without delay Thor gathered his little brother into his arms, even as Loki jerked back, frightened. Upon realizing it was Thor, the younger god immediately relaxed and fell into the embrace, making small noises as if to say, 'Don't ever do that again'.

Thor kissed the top of the dark head, then settled his lips against it. "I will never leave you," he mumbled, not caring that the other couldn't hear him. Loki reached up a hand to feel of Thor's beard for several moments, then settled his head against his chest as the thunder god leaned against the headboard. "I will never leave you," said Thor again, but this time it wasn't for Loki's sake that he said it.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

_The first sensations that Loki registered upon waking were of pain. No wait, not pain... something else. Not pain not pain notpainnotpainnotpain... His mind spun at the new sensation- or rather the lack of sensation. That there _wasn't_ any pain. No, that wasn't exactly true, there was still pain, thrumming through his body, his face- but not like the pain he'd known for so long, that _constant_ drip, drip, drip and the agony that followed the terrible beat like a most wicked heart. This was different, _lacking_ in the horrid constant._

_Then there was something touching him. Something warm and so near- too near. Loki tried to jerk away, to escape whatever new torment his cruel torturers would inflict upon him, but he couldn't- he couldn't get away because strong- yet somehow gentle -hands were holding him. Holding both his arms as he struggled to get away, but he was too weak. _So weak._ He dreaded what they would do with him, _to_ him. He knew he couldn't escape, could do nothing against them but he needed to fight, he couldn't stop himself trying- couldn't deny himself this sliver of hope... Even a pointless and useless hope was still hope._

_But instead of pain, instead of the expected onslaught of terrible nightmares made flesh, he's being held- no, _embraced_. Such a strange foreign thing, Loki doesn't recognize it for what it is. The hands on him are frantic, rubbing at his back and his arms and Loki only wants to get away, get awaygetaway, _why can't I get away? _Then, a hand is around his neck... no wait- at the back of his neck, where someone used to-_

_Loki can't believe it, _refuses_ to believe it. _It can't be him, it's not him_. But the gesture is so familiar, so..._him. _Then with the other hand on the side of his face Loki feels something wet press against his forehead, against his face. He's confused but knows he likes the gesture, whatever it is. The hand at the nape of his neck doesn't let go and he doesn't want it to. Out of desperation, out of instinctive_ need_, Loki leans toward this strange being in front of him. He does the only thing he can think to do... he sniffs at it. Immediately his mind bursts with memories of things long past, of things forgotten and buried- discarded to the dirt as useless lumps that would aid him not with such pain exploding in his entire being everyday, every hour, every _minute_. But now it comes back to him, floods back like a torn river and he's afraid he'll drown in it- but it would be a pleasant death, he thinks. There's a smell like lightning and hard metal and torn leather, of unstoppable rage and gentle sunny smiles that could pierce even the darkest abyss. Of scraped knees followed by cobalt eyes and soft teases, of strong arms- so strong they could tear the worlds asunder if they were meant for it. Of brothers... of something that was once his, just as he was the other's. Of... _Thor...

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

The light shining through his eyelids made Thor jerk up, the memories of the previous day suddenly forgotten, the only thoughts of his brother and that they were in an unfamiliar place. The soft bed and shining skyline out the window relaxed his nerves, but the dream- no, a nightmare -he had been having was still fresh in his mind. Loki had been taken from him and he couldn't find him. All of Asgard laughed when he inquired after his brother- even their mother. When he had approached Loki's room he found his brother lying face-down on the bed. When Thor turned him over, he nearly screamed as Loki had no face; a blank flesh-mask stared back at him without eyes. But what made it worse, what made Thor wake up, was that Loki was _still alive_, still moving, silently suffering, still- Thor pushed the dream out of his mind and quickly looked to his sleeping brother. He still held Loki in a tight embrace and the trickster didn't seem to mind- didn't even wake up. However, when Thor shifted to move, Loki's eyes flew open. _So,_ Thor thought,_ not asleep._ Silently he wondered if his brother had slept at all, but it was difficult to tell given the state of the younger god's face.

The god of mischief nuzzled the side of his face against Thor's chest, as if to say, 'Good morning, brother.' Thor even thought he saw a quirk of the ruined lips, although he might have just imagined it.

.

The rest of the morning was spent trying to juggle between getting Loki to do something he didn't understand, and getting Loki to _let him go_. The trickster absolutely refused to let the thunderer out of his grasp, even when Thor had to use the restroom. Thor had shrugged and smirked, knowing that not only would his younger brother not care, but that he probably didn't even know what Thor was doing anyway.

It was beginning to unnerve Thor just how doll-like his little brother had become. Although Loki would stand and occasionally move on his own, most of the time he was as docile as a marionette, waiting for the puppeteer to pull his strings and make him move. His face was almost always blank and the thunderer began to realize just how much senses like sight and hearing influenced what facial expressions people made. Without input, there really was no reason for output. Without knowledge of his surroundings or goings-on, Loki had no reason to react. It always took something extreme to elicit any sort of reaction.

So after Thor had dressed both himself and his brother in plain Midgardian clothes- a light blue shirt for himself, and one of his own dark green shirts for Loki, although it was too big on him given his emaciated frame -the thunder god was determined to get a reaction out of Loki for _something_.

The trickster had one hand looped into the back part of Thor's belt- which was odd, but easy to manage while Thor got ready -so the older brother turned around and hugged him tightly, perhaps too tightly. Unfortunately, Loki did nothing but lean into the hug, _well, that won't do_, so Thor leaned back and lifted him up off the ground. _Surely this will annoy him, he always hated it when I-_ But Loki's face was blank, placid, _accepting_. He even leaned down and rested his head against Thor's shoulder. Not one for wasting a hug, Thor held him for a moment, but eventually sighed and allowed Loki to slide down to the floor. And once again, the blank face stared back at him, unmoving and waiting. It wasn't one of Loki's masks. It wasn't bored, or annoyed, or silently mocking, just... _docile_, _pliant_. In short, _not his brother_. For a moment he thought about yesterday, how Loki had shown a few emotions... but, no. Abject horror and confusion weren't exactly ideal emotions.

Thor smiled a little and hugged his brother around the neck. _It's not your fault, brother_, he thought. _I should not expect you to be something or do something for _my_ sake_. Thor knew he was being selfish, expecting Loki to be the same brother he had known all his life after all that had happened... It probably wasn't possible.

After stepping back Thor noticed the tag at the back of Loki's- or rather his own -shirt was sticking up. When the thunderer leaned around Loki to fix it, Thor was _certain_ he saw a small quirk of the trickster's lips. He leaned back, unsure if he had truly seen it since Loki's face was as still and passive as it had been a moment before.

_Hm_.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Loki felt the soft clothes on him, and when he felt that Thor was looking away, he smelled of the tunic, realizing it was _Thor's_. A strange warmth came over him at the notion that this somehow made him closer to Thor, that even when alone and without his big brother, that at least he had this cloth. He next wondered if he also wore Thor's trousers, and decided he was, since they were a little too long and not very fitting. He felt of the material, finding it unfamiliar and foreign, and absently wondered what color they were. He wore no shoes, but knew he would need his own since Thor's feet were larger than his. He had arrived with no shoes and it would have been strange to wear any after being deprived of footwear for so long. He honestly couldn't remember when he had last worn any. Before the dungeon, maybe? Or did they take his shoes after they strapped him to the rock and he saw the snake- He shut down that train of thought completely and concentrated on Thor. _Thor. _His clothes, his smell, _Thor, Thor, Thor._ As far as Loki was concerned, nothing else in the universe mattered. He didn't care if nothing else _existed _except Thor, his brother, his liberator. His _protector_.

Thor was hugging him now. Hugging him and lifting him up, his arms trapped at his sides. Loki liked it; liked having him so close. He supposed it was a good thing his big brother had always been so keen on physically representing his affection- always touching and embracing Loki... and everyone and everything else with a beating heart. Certainly the thunder god always manhandling him had annoyed Loki to no end, and he hadn't exactly been fond of all the invasion of personal space, either -but now it only comforted him and he found he couldn't get enough of it.

Loki leaned his head on Thor's shoulder to encourage the act, then felt himself sliding back down. The moment he felt Thor fiddling with something at the back of his neck, the trickster couldn't help a small smile. He repressed it immediately, though, knowing it would only aggravate his stitches. _My brother, always so doting._ Although he didn't quite know what Thor was doing, it was appreciated nonetheless.

.

As soon as the air shifted, Loki knew they had left the room. The smells were also different, and he recognized that the room they had stayed in had been _Thor's_. _Hm, no doubt his Midgardian friends keep it for him when he visits_, Loki absently mused. He held tightly to his big brother's arm as they walked, determined not to trip or stumble in case one of the humans was near. He had already severely embarrassed himself in front of that dolt Stark, and he didn't wish to repeat that experience with the others- or Stark again. At least he had managed not to _cry_ in front of the mortal. Next Loki wondered if he even _could_ cry; or were his eyes too damaged?

The familiar feel of Thor's arm suddenly around his shoulders snapped Loki back to attention, although there was no real reason for it. He had no clue what was going on so he just held tightly to Thor and tried his best not to think of what might happen when the other Avengers saw them. Or had they already spoken to them? Or was that only Stark yesterday? Loki immediately let it go... _It doesn't matter... Only Thor matters. Thor, Thor, Thor..._

* * *

**A/N: Oh boy, Loki kind of (read: understatement) worships Thor now, doesn't he? Can't really blame him for being clingy, though. And is it just me, or has Loki sort of reverted to a child-like state? Lol, poor thing.**

**So did you guys likey? X3 More Avengers interactions next chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: New chapter! Maybe 'pretty pleases' _do_ work, Halo! XD Sorry for the shortness of the chapter but it was the best stopping point. More Avengers interactions, as promised! **

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Steve Rogers was _staring_; Thor couldn't blame him. But as the ever-polite man the captain was, he immediately blinked rapidly and tried his best to look away. _Is it for my benefit, or Loki's?_ Thor wondered. Loki couldn't see, of course, but somehow he doubted that mattered to the good captain. He was sure the human considered being rude to a _blind man_ even worse- no matter the same man couldn't even _see_ the offense.

As predicted, Stark was a terrible liar. Even Steve had been able to tell that he was hiding something. And if that were not enough, the billionaire had been severely hungover- which only served to agitate him and make him less likely to want to keep anything hidden, let alone something so important. He told Steve everything before noon.

Thor was secretly glad of it; it meant he wouldn't have to explain everything again. The captain had a few more questions, most of little consequence, and- again, as Thor predicted -the mortal quickly vowed that Loki would be safe here, as long as he caused no trouble. To Thor and Stark's amusement, Rogers quickly reddened at the strangeness of the statement, given Loki's condition, but the captain stood his ground and Thor assured him of the trickster's compliance. The soldier was duty and honor-bound to ensure the safety of the planet, after all- or so Stark said, in far more a sarcastic manner than was necessary.

They were all standing in the living room; the two brothers leaning against the back of a couch, with Thor's arm around the other, as the two mortals stood a few feet from them, arms crossed.

"So," said Stark to Thor. "He okay? He looks a little..." the man squinted at Loki, then straightened up. "Actually he looks pretty much the same as yesterday. In a word: terrible." Tony glanced and Thor, "No offense."

Thor glared at him but responded, "None taken."

"But still," continued Tony in a slightly lilting voice. "He looks better in those clothes... Even kind of cute." Both blondes stared at the billionaire, who held up two hands. "What? You know what I mean; the shirt and pants are too big on him. Like a kid wearing his dad's clothes or something. It's cute," he shrugged.

The thunder god actually agreed but continued glaring at the mortal, determined to look at least a little upset on his brother's behalf since he had just compared Loki to a child.

Steve rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Tony." He then directed his attention to Thor, who still kept his arm around Loki. Steve nodded in the trickster's direction, "Is there anything he needs? His own room? Clothes-?"

"Hey!" said Tony, exasperated. "Why are _you _asking this stuff, they're in my tower-"

"Anything at all?" continued Steve, ignoring the shorter man.

Thor smiled a little at the two mortals' exchange, then thought about it. He looked to his brother. "Loki will not stay in his own room, but clothing that will fit him would be much appreciated. Thank you."

Both mortals nodded in acknowledgement. Stark tapped Steve's arm, "What're you nodding at; I'm the one buying the stuff."

The captain raised both eyebrows boredly and continued looking at the two gods. "I think we can arrange that."  
"Hey!" exclaimed Tony with outstretched arms. "Am I even in this room?"

"Nope," said Steve as he walked slowly toward Loki. He addressed Thor, "Is there some way he can know I'm here?"

Thor smiled in appreciation at his friend, happy that the mortal understood at least that small concept. "I am not certain..." Thor scratched his beard, thinking. "Do you have your magnificent shield? He would remember it."

The soldier nodded, "Sure, it's right here." He retrieved the painted shield from the front of the couch, then walked back around to the two with it outstretched. "Should I just..."

"Stand here," Thor pointed in front of Loki, then, just as with the cup of water, directed his brother's hand to touch the metal.

And just as with Stark's beard, Loki was confused at first, then when recognition- much quicker this time, Thor noticed -flitted across his face, he backed away, holding tightly to Thor. Even so, he didn't hide behind the thunderer this time, and Thor considered it a good sign. Either Loki was coming to understand the Avengers meant him no harm, or he knew that a morally upright person like the captain would never harm one so helpless. Thor hoped it was the first, but both were good.

"Oh goody," came Stark's voice. "He knows you're here, can we eat now?" Thor raised a brow. "Golden boy here made lunch, you guys hungry?" asked Stark.

The thunder god nodded, but knew Tony's comment was only meant in jest, that he knew Loki could not eat.

.

The four men walked to the nearest kitchen, one floor down, but before Thor could seat Loki in the nearby dining room, Stark called the thunder god over to the kitchen area.

"Here we go," said the inventor, moving around cups and the appliance Thor recognized as a 'blender'. "Voilà!" said Stark with a sweeping motion. "Instant people-with-lips-sewn-shut food, aka a smoothie, made by yours truly."

"I made that," yelled Rogers as he set the dining table up.

"Yours truly's friend then," said Stark without a trace of guilt. "I put it in a cup, though," he yelled back. "And the straw," he pointed. "Yup. The straw."

Thor eyed the two with amusement as Loki held tightly to his arm.

"Oh," continued Stark, "and it's not a lot and not really strong. Jarvis told us he shouldn't eat anything too tasty. Which sucks, but...whatever."

Thor smiled. _What wonderful friends_, he thought.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

The god of mischief felt the softness of the chair under him and the hardness of the table before him. Thor was sat beside him, he knew, and the trickster couldn't help but scoot his chair closer so their sides were touching. Thor tugged him closer for a moment and kissed his temple in reassurance, and the trickster allowed a tiny smile at the movement- even if it fled just as quickly at the painful tug. He knew at least Stark and Rogers were here with them, and that they would see their overt displays of affection, but Loki simply couldn't bring himself to care. The old him would certainly care, but the old him wasn't deprived of half his senses, either. That fool was the one who had gotten him into this predicament in the first place- he'd do well to ignore him.

Loki also knew that this was meal-time, since he had smelled the food before they had even arrived. His stomach turned at the prospect of food, but he also cringed at the knowledge that he would never be able to partake himself. _So like mortals_, Loki thought. _Of course they would torment me with such a tantalizing impossibility, forcing me to sit by with mouth watering while they-_

His hand was being directed, something like a cup pushed into it, the feel of it heavy in his hand. He grasped it tightly and then felt for the small tube that would allow him to drink. Since they had not poisoned him yesterday, he assumed it would be safe to drink- and anyway, the mortals wouldn't be foolish enough to harm him with Thor present.

The thick feel of the liquid and the burst of taste made Loki nearly gag on the drink. Thor seemed to notice since a large hand was suddenly rubbing his back with concern, another hand on his shoulder.

He quickly swallowed it in a small panic, suddenly realizing that this was not water- or any kind of normal drink for that matter. He desperately hoped he wouldn't have the urge to vomit, that would be... unpleasant, to say the least. But even through his surprise and worry, he couldn't deny that it _tasted good_. Like sweet fruits blended together mixed with some sort of milk. He felt his face stretch a little with a smile, and despite the pain he couldn't stop himself. _Food..._ his mind tingled with glee. Of course it wasn't a true meal, but Loki's mind couldn't care less at the moment as he clutched the smooth cup beneath his fingers. _I can...eat..._

Thor kissed his head again, and Loki imagined a sunny wide grin splayed across his idiot brother's wonderful face. A hand patted his thigh as if to say, 'Eat, brother!' He could even hear the familiar voice.

So Loki tucked the straw back into his mouth and ate slowly, but contentedly.

_Food, food, food_, his mind repeated. _Wonderous, delicious, sweet, filling food..._

The comforting hand never left his thigh as Loki finished his meal.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Two mortals and one god of thunder stared with open mouths as the trickster god first _smiled_ and then began eating- or rather drinking -something that most people wouldn't call a meal. Thor quickly felt a smile cross his own lips- a _true_ and wide smile he had not experienced in so long. Suddenly he felt himself again.

He kissed his brother's head and ran a hand through his hair, leaning over him, so happy that Loki was happy. He knew that smiling caused Loki's stitches to pull, but the trickster didn't seem to mind, lost in whatever sensations he was clearly enjoying at the moment.

"Wow," said Stark slowly. "I've...never seen someone look like they're having an orgasm just from eating." Rogers smacked the inventor on the back of the head. "Ow!" yelled Stark. "What? Do you _see_ that look of glee on his face." He stared at Loki, all three men did. "I think he might have just invented a new facial expression: glappy."

"_Glappy?_" asked Steve, with indignant exasperation.

"Yeah. Glee and happy."

"Glappy," said Steve again, thinking for a moment. "That's stupid, I think you need your head checked."

"I did. I'm a genius."

"Then you need your head checked by someone that isn't missing their own," smirked Steve as he took a bite of his cold pasta.

"Glappy," nodded Tony as he scrutinized Loki. "Thor?"

"Hm?" said the thunder god, lost in watching his brother eat.

"You gonna eat?"

Thor looked at his friends. "Ah," he said, as if he just remembered that there was a plate of food in front of him. Even so, Thor couldn't stop watching Loki. Although the trickster had stopped smiling, a glint of satisfaction still lingered in his milky eyes. "My friends," he finally said. "I must thank you."

Tony jerked his head up from devouring his food, "Huh? For what?" Steve was already getting a second massive helping.

"For..._this_," Thor indicated his brother.

The two heroes looked to each for a moment. "No problem, Thor," said Steve, slightly confused. "We couldn't just let him starve," he said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

* * *

**A/N: Something of a fluffy chapter, I hope you guys liked it!**

**I'm not sure if it would be okay for Loki to be eating/drinking what they're giving him given his state, but I figured he's a friggin' _alien_, who knows how his body reacts to things? ;) Justification: accepted. Lol... Apologies for Stark's crudeness, I did warn for it at the beginning, though! XD**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So this is the longest chapter yet; you can call it a 'thanks for all your alerts and favs!' or you can call it a 'sorry to all my _Sanguine Wood_ readers because I probably won't be updating it until later this week!' ;3 Buut, yeah. If you happen to be a reader of that story, I've been really busy lately and haven't had the time to work on it, but fortunately I had already written this chapter for _Pray For Rain_- so here ya go!**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

The rest of the day confused Loki to no end. The others seemed determined to find some way for him to communicate with them- although the only thing he truly recognized was something like a writing instrument, placed into his hands, which turned out to be both useless and frustrating since he couldn't see- not to mention it was difficult to have a one-sided conversation. He might be able to convey certain simple words, like 'hungry', 'thirsty', and 'sleepy', but hand-motions had worked out quite well already, so there was no reason to write it down.

Most of the rest of the day consisted of sitting, walking, or standing, receiving embraces and reassuring kisses from Thor, and smelling the air whenever they entered a new room.

As if understanding Loki's boredom and/or confusion, the thunder god would walk beside the trickster while he felt about a room with his hands so he could 'see', in his own way, where they were. It was time-consuming and no doubt boring for the blonde, but he seemed neither impatient nor frustrated with Loki. _Where did my brother suddenly get all of this patience?_ Loki wondered.

Before he knew it when they were once again walking into a familiar-smelling place- Thor's room. He was again aided in bathing and changing clothes, and when he realized Thor had to bathe as well, Loki insisted on remaining by his side, sitting outside the tub on a comfortable chair that had not been there before.

Then it was time for bed. Sleep. Loki didn't like sleeping; in fact, he hadn't slept very much since Thor had rescued him. Last night he had slept very little, clinging to his brother and feeling the chest move steadily up and down throughout the night, the strong heart beating against his head. When he finally _did_ slip into a fitful sleep, he had nightmares that awoke him shortly thereafter, sweaty with his own heart ready to break through his ribcage. Fortunately, Thor had still been there, the same breathing and steady heartbeat calming him once again.

Not wanting to repeat his restlessness of the night before, Loki waited until Thor was asleep, then warily got out of bed to explore the room. He frequently- in fact every several minutes -returned to the bedside to feel for his brother, felt for the breathing and the heartbeat, then continued feeling about the room.

He moved slowly, methodically, determined not to stub his toe on anything- or any other body part. There were two small tables next to the bedside, and two metal-feeling objects of odd shape atop both of them. He couldn't figure out what they were and wondered why they needed to be so close to the bed. When he felt for a button, the top of the odd object became very hot, and Loki jerked away. The next moment he realized what it was- something to provide light. He would have rolled his eyes at himself- if it were possible -for his stupidity, of _course_ that's what they were. Finding the button again, he turned it off, feeling the heat subside.

Straight across from the bed Loki felt large windows that spanned the entire wall. He wondered if the city glittered outside and if it looked anything like the golden spires of Asgard when the sun's light faded, giving way to the glow of innumerable multi-colored stars and nebulae.

There were certain spots in the room that had cool air blowing out of seemingly nowhere, and Loki wondered if there was a window open somewhere. Was it winter? Why would they leave windows open? There were several other things in the room the mischief god didn't understand the purpose of. A collection of medium-sized furniture- or something -gathered in the corner made of materials Loki couldn't identify being the most unrecognizable.

Pictures hung on the walls- ones he unfortunately couldn't see -and two soft chairs and a single table sat near the window's edge. There was a set of double doors to left of the bed, near the washroom door, and Loki wondered what they were until he realized it was only a closet- a very _large_ closet he could walk into that he didn't feel like visiting at the moment.

Walking from the wall at the head of the bed to the glass windowed wall, it was thirty paces, and from the entrance to the washroom door it was twenty. It was a large enough room and he wondered what other types of rooms were in this tower- if that was in fact where they were, no doubt Stark had many homes.

The carpet was the first thing he noticed when entering this room yesterday, but he hadn't considered its feel in any detail until now. It was soft under his toes, like the fur of some animal, and Loki wondered how many of the creature it would take to fill a space this size. The mortals were an industrious lot, however, perhaps it was artificially created, somehow.

Then he came to the door. Loki could feel cool air seeping in from outside and suddenly felt the urge to try and open it. With a shaking hand he began turning the knob, but before the door could move he let go and stepped back, as though the door might come alive all its own and open wide and suck him out, into the waiting arms of some terrible nightmare Thor wouldn't be able to save him from this time.

Suddenly fearful, Loki rushed back to where he knew his brother slept, then hastily slid under the covers and snuggled close to Thor's warmth. As if sensing Loki near, the thunderer mumbled sleepily and turned toward him, to which the younger turned around and draped Thor's arm over his chest. Content and feeling safe with Thor at his back, Loki fell into sleep a moment later.

.

_"What is your crime, Odinson?"_

_Loki was trembling; he knew he had to answer, but he was in too much pain to remember. He felt the hot metal sear the bottom of his foot once again, and he screamed._

_"What is your crime, Odinson?!" came the question again, more angry._

_He swallowed, throat dry and lips like sandpaper. He wanted to answer, _had_ to answer. When he felt the molten heat near his foot again, he yelped out: "Wait! Wait!" the heat moved a fraction away. "Wait, I-" he gathered his thoughts, _forced_ his mind to work, to remember. "I-I-I k-killed... people." The words came out, but he gritted his teeth, knowing it wasn't enough. The ropes creaked overhead._

_"What else?" said the voice of his torturer._

_"I..." Loki kept his eyes clenched shut- even though he wore a blindfold -determined to get the words out. "I...I hurt people, I hurt... the mortals, and..." His knuckles were white as he balled his fists, trying to remember, trying to ignore the ache of his joints against his uncomfortable restraints. His arms were tied behind his back and the rope was fastened to the ceiling. He was bent over, knees touching the floor as well as his forehead. His ankles were tied together and fastened to the floor so he couldn't move. Loki gasped and felt fresh tears flowing when his mind begin to shut down at the growing heat at his heel. He shook his head desperately, unable to find the right words. "Please... I can't remember, I'm too tired- Please stop-"_

_He screamed when the burning metal touched him again. He jerked against the ropes holding him up, trying in vain to move away from the agonizing onslaught._

_His torturer screamed at him, "And did your victims ask you to stop?! Or were they so beneath you, like_ ants_, that you didn't bother to even look at them or hear their pleas?" The searing pain stopped, but Loki was panting, sobbing, the pain too much._

_"Please, I don't- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." But it didn't matter how many times he had said it; it didn't make them stop._

_"If you are sorry, then," began the horrible man, "tell me what you have done. What is your crime, Odinson?"_

_Loki continued sobbing against the wet floor, trying to catch his breath and ignore the pain at the same time. He knew if he didn't answer correctly and completely, the torture would continue until he got it right. So, once again, he forced his mind to work. "Th-" he choked out, "Thor..."_

_"What about him?" _

_"Thor, I... I tried to kill him..." Loki grit his teeth and shut his eyes, the blindfold suddenly insufficient to keep the memories out, even if he needed them right now._

_"Yes, and?"_

_Sweat dripped all around him, he wanted to _sleep_, to go away, but he didn't like the nightmares that haunted him; of Thor's frozen dead body beneath his fingers, of screams and blood. "I'm a traitor," he whispered out, tears wetting the blindfold further. Loki continued, suddenly lost in his memories through the haze of pain, "I'm a monster..."_

_There was a pause. Silent air filling the trickster god's mind with images of terrible deeds he wished to forget, but couldn't. _

_Suddenly he was released, the rope overhead falling on his back as he collapsed to the floor. Next, his ankles, then his arms._

_Unable to walk back to his cell he was forced to crawl back on trembling hands and knees. He collapsed several times and his escort- a guard -kicked him to force him back up. The man's words didn't reach the mischief god's ears, so tired and lost in sorrow that he could barely _breathe_ much less heed words._

_When Loki finally, after what seemed like hours, reached his cell, the grating metal door closed behind him and he curled up in his usual corner. The darkness permeated every part of the cell, the dim torchlight from the corridor the only illumination- insufficient and flickering. He shook terribly and couldn't stop crying, suddenly so cold... too cold-_

_"Loki," said a voice._

_He jerked up, startled by the unexpected voice in his cell._

_"Loki," it said again, like words from the dead. The trickster stared at the corner opposite, where the voice had come from. "Loki are you there?" it whispered- but it was so far away... so far away. There was a breeze from nowhere, for there were no windows._

_Loki stared, wide-eyed, but he couldn't see anything in the dark except... except... _Red, red, red, red, red... _"Th-Thor?"_

_Silence._

_Silence._

_Silence... _Red.

_"Loki."_

_The trickster ripped out his hair and screamed at the stillness, and the red, and that which wasn't there._

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Thor awoke to strange sounds; sounds of strained breathing and odd whimpering noises. When he opened his eyes he saw dark hair and stared for a moment in confusion. _Loki_, his mind registered next. He leaned on one elbow and moved his brother so he could see his face, then realized the noises were coming from Loki.

The trickster continued whimpering and breathing hard, but when Thor caught sight of blood dripping onto the bed from Loki's stitches he began to shake him awake.

"Loki! Brother! Wake up!" he shouted.

Almost immediately the white eyes opened, wide and confused and frightened. Then he began to struggle, until Thor hugged him tightly and ran a hand through his hair soothingly. The smaller god calmed down after a moment, although clearly he remained distressed as his breathing barely slowed.

"You are all right, brother," Thor spoke with his lips against Loki's forehead. "You are all right... I'm here, I'm here." With the words spoken, he seemed to relax against Thor, his breathing slowly returning to normal. "Did you have a nightmare?" asked Thor, even though he knew his little brother couldn't answer.

He sat them both up and after looking at his clock realized it was almost time to wake up. Worried for Loki, he decided they had had enough sleep for the night.

Loki held to him tightly, once again not about to let him go. _No matter,_ thought Thor. _I suppose I should become accustomed to this._ He smiled a little and swung his legs over the side, hoping that today would be easier given that much of what they had to do yesterday had already been done- his brother no doubt still remembers what would now become ritual for them.

.

Since Loki had been sweaty from his nightmare, Thor decided to shower him again. Today, Bruce Banner would be returning and he wanted Loki to make a good impression- not that Banner _needed_ a good impression, he was a very compassionate man, he would surely accept Loki after seeing what punishments he had already endured.

When Thor escorted Loki to the main kitchen-area, there sat Banner and Tony at the counter, the smell of coffee lingering in the air. Loki had clearly noticed earlier, as he had sniffed the air and dawned a face of curiosity and slight confusion.

Banner's first words upon seeing Loki were: "Wow." He said nothing further, although an obvious grimace was growing on his face.

Loki was as blank and staring as ever, although he seemed confused as to why they were doing nothing but standing. Perhaps he was expecting breakfast?

"Doctor Banner," Thor acknowledged with a nod of his head.

"Huh, yeah, oh hey, Thor," he said, still staring at the trickster god. "Sorry, I-I'm a little-" He suddenly stood up and walked a few steps away from the others, back turned. He ran a hand through his hair, then hung his head a little as he rested a hand on his mouth.

"Doc?" asked Tony, obviously worried. "You okay? Not gonna turn rage monster on us, are you?"

Banner shook his head, not turning around. "No, I'm okay. I just need a sec."

Tony turned back around with brows raised, then to Thor he whispered: "Yikes. Maybe I shouldn't have given him the nitty-gritty details, he gets all sensitive and stuff-"

"I can hear you, Tony," said Banner, back still to them.

The inventor perked his lips and continued, although not in a whisper, "But seriously, your brother's kind of like Tim Burton's worst nightmare. Or-" he dipped his head, "maybe more like his wet dream- _Ow!_" Bruce hit him on the back of the head. "Why does everyone keep doing that?!" Tony then looked back at the scientist, injury immediately forgotten. "Oh hey. When'd you get back?"

Banner gave a tight-lipped smile. "Just now. You two okay?" he asked the gods.

Thor nodded, Loki did nothing but hold on to Thor gingerly. "Are you well, Banner?" asked Thor.

"I'm fine," he answered, although he clearly still looked somewhat frazzled.

Tony eyed him, "You sure? You've still got some green around the eyes-"

"I'm _fine_, Tony," he said in a determined but not unfriendly voice. Both Thor and Tony nodded.

"So," began Stark, "this is the part where Loki touches you to find out who you are. It's fun! Sort of like charades for blind people- _Ow!_" Banner smacked him again. "Stop _doing _that-!"

"Then stop acting like a big jerk." Bruce stood straight, arms crossed in humor, eyebrow raised in challenge.

Tony squinted at him questioningly. "Hmm," he said. "Are you _sure _you're not about to go green? 'Cause I got a panic room just for when-"

"Stark," Banner said dryly. "What does this have to do with anything?"

He tweaked his jaw. "Right. Blind people chara-" he jerked back and stood up, obviously worried the scientist was about the hit him again, although Banner remained passive and stared at Tony, slightly amused. "Anyway," Tony straightened himself, "how're we gonna do it this time, blondie?"

Thor's eyebrows perked at being addressed, having been thoroughly entertained by his teammates' friendly bickering. "Ah, yes... I have not given it much thought... Have you any ideas, Stark?"

Stark rested a hand on his chin as he looked Banner up and down. The scientist crossed his arms and shifted his weight, annoyed at Tony's tactless scrutiny. While the inventor stared, Banner spoke, "Actually, you know Loki and I never really met..."

The thunder god nodded, "Yes... but perhaps he only need know that there is another in his presence, perhaps he does not need to know..."

The doctor raised a brow, "You mean, maybe he's better off not knowing the guy who beat him into the floor is anywhere near him, right?"

"I am sorry, I meant no offense-"  
"No, no... it's fine, I just... Are you sure? What if he figures it out and he knows you lied to him? I'm no expert in relationships, but Loki seems like he might need someone right now he can trust completely. If not you, then who?"

Thor stared at the small unassuming scientist with an astonished expression he couldn't quite help. Before he said anything, Thor gave one long nod that was more of a bow. "You are wise beyond your years, my friend. And you are right; I do wish him to trust me. However," he hesitated, "I still do not know how he may recognize you..."

Banner walked toward them slowly. "Well, let's just see if he can tell by touching my face... or, my hair?" He shrugged and smiled a little. "It can't hurt."

Thor nodded as the scientist approached, and he once again lifted Loki's thin wrist up so he could feel the face in front of him.

This time Loki's look of confusion continued for some time. He felt of Banner's face first, then his shirt, then his folded arms. His hair was next, then his face again. The trickster tilted his head, as though unsure of who was before him.

"Oh wait," said Banner as he reached in his shirt's front pocket for his glasses. "Maybe this'll help."

After slowly ghosting his fingers across the edges of the glasses, Loki suddenly jumped back, then moved backwards on stumbling legs until he fell against the wall next to the entrance. Thor immediately ran to his side, then wrapped both arms around him. "I am sorry, brother, I know you are frightened, but Banner will not harm you." As if he heard him, Loki shook his head desperately, eyes wide like saucers and small whimpering noises escaping. He reached up and held Thor around the neck, burying his face in his brother's shoulder. He addressed the doctor, "I am sorry, Banner, I did not expect him to react this harshly-"

"No, actually," said Bruce quickly, approaching in a half-crouched position, "I-I understand. I'd run from me, too, if I got beat as badly as Loki did." He crouched down next to the two, obviously aware that Loki wouldn't know he was near.

Thor smiled a little at him but concentrated on his brother. "Loki," he said to the side of Loki's head. "Nothing will happen; I'm here. They are friends, they are here to help." He kissed the spot then began standing up slowly, bringing Loki with him. The trickster held tightly, trembling and breathing hard. Thor kept one arm around his waist and used the other to rub his back.

"Maybe you should take him back to your room," supplied Banner helpfully.

Tony yelled from the counter-side, arms up. "But they haven't eaten yet! I got more smoothies! I wanted to show Brucie the Glappy Face..."

That reminded Thor, "Where is Rogers?"

"Out," came Tony's unhelpful reply.

Banner gave the inventor a look, "He means he's been called back to SHIELD. Some kind of debriefing for a mission or something. Don't worry about it, I'm sure he'll be back soon."

Thor nodded.

* * *

**A/N: As I said, I'll be busy this week (among other things, I have freakin' _jury duty_, ugh) but hopefully most of it won't interfere too much with my fan fic writing. **

**Anyway, as you can see, these flashbacks/dreams of Loki's aren't in chronological order, and that trend will continue the rest of the story. Hopefully by the end you guys will get a more complete picture of what happened to him over the last couple of years.**

******I love you guys and I love your reviews! X3**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry for taking so long with this chapter, guys! Been so busy these last few weeks, I'm surprised I can update anything, lol. Anyway, longer chapter than usual, hope you guys like it!**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

When Loki realized they were headed back to Thor's room, he immediately began to relax. He had by now memorized the route there and back, at least to the kitchen, which was down two corridors with one turn, but still relatively close. He still held tightly to Thor, but walked beside him so that the older god could at least walk properly.

The smell of the familiar room greeted him and Loki directed Thor and himself toward the bed, and the small reluctance made him imagine Thor's surprised face at his little brother's slight show of independence. He would have smirked if he were not still sore from his stitches being pulled during the night. He sat on the bed and was glad when Thor sat as well. He laid his head on the thunderer's shoulder, suddenly feeling foolish for running away from Bruce Banner like that. Certainly he had _cause_ to be afraid, but Thor wouldn't allow him into his presence if there was any danger. Right? Of course. Thor would never let any harm come to him.

Loki felt words being mumbled into the side of his head again, a sign of comfort he always appreciated, even if he couldn't understand the words. It meant Thor still spoke to him and didn't treat him like some dumb animal- even if that's what he basically was.

After something like fifteen minutes of sitting, Loki began to feel both hunger and thirst gnawing at him. Leaning away from his brother, he patted his stomach and made a motion of drinking out of cup to signal what he wanted. Thor ran a hand through Loki's hair, then led him back out of the room, heading toward the kitchen.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"I told you about the face, didn't I? Such an awesome face. Would've put it on Facebook or something but he's too creepy looking. And... you know, the whole 'villain-who-tried-to-take-over-the-world' being back in town thing might freak some people out." Stark shrugged. "Bunch of prudes," he murmured.

The four were headed down to the medical wing of the building since Banner insisted on checking up on Loki's supposed injuries. Tony could see the _obvious_ injuries, also known as _his entire head_, but he was also kind of curious to see what else might have happened to the trickster given that Thor seemed reluctant to talk about it in any detail. Either he didn't know, or he didn't want _them_ to know. The former seemed more likely since the thunder god acquiesced pretty quickly when Bruce asked to check the younger god.

Honestly, Stark hadn't even considered that Loki might actually need _medical attention_, he just assumed he'd heal on his own. And although Thor had said he would, he also said that it would happen _eventually_. What if he had been in pain this whole time but couldn't tell them? Naw, that didn't seem likely. Thor was constantly glued to his side like a Siamese twin, there was no way he wouldn't be able to tell if his little brother was still in pain- or so Tony hoped.

The glass doors of the medical wing slid open and the four walked in, just as Bruce led them to a bed to their right. The room was blindingly white, something that Tony found annoying, and even the equipment was mostly white, humming quietly in each corner.

"Okay," said Bruce, as he indicated the bed to Thor. The thunderer nodded and led Loki to feel the bed, then helped him to sit on it without issue. Loki frowned and brushed his hands across the bed's fabric, then felt of the plastic and metal fixtures attached to it. Thor stood close to him, his side touching Loki's right knee.

"You know," Tony spoke up, "I don't know about you guys, but I'm guessing Bambi here has no idea where he is or what the hell you're about to do to him."

Bruce gave Tony a look, "I'm not going to _do_ anything to him, it's just a check up."

"Sure," said Stark. "Whatever you say."

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Thor was trying to get him to sit down on a bed, so Loki sat. It was an odd bed, cool and strange against his skin, the sheets smooth but obviously new. Other strange and solid materials were attached to the sides of the bed, unfamiliar to his fingers.

Loki wondered how many of the Avengers had followed them here or if any.

When unfamiliar hands suddenly touched the sides of his face he jerked back, leaning toward where Thor stood beside him. Who was that? He gripped Thor's forearm tightly and relaxed a little when he felt the thunderer's other hand stroking his hair. Whatever was happening, Thor approved.

So the trickster leaned away somewhat, although he was still wary of whoever else was in the room. A moment passed and the same hands were touching his face again, although very lightly. Then there was only one hand, and then a slight warmth on his face, near his eyes. The hand gently tilted his face this way and that, and the realization dawned on him:_ they're checking my eyes._ _So_, Loki wondered, _does Thor truly believe that these Midgardians could possibly help me? Has he lost his mind?_ The humans' so-called 'medicine' was pathetically lacking compared to Asgard's healing spells, but he supposed it couldn't hurt- or would it? The last time Loki had been to Earth- before this most recent time -hundreds of years ago, the mortals' idea of healing was what many would call terrifying, barbaric. He had been more than glad that he would never have to endure their 'treatments', if they could even be called that. Even so, the humans were resourceful and advanced quickly, if nothing else, so hopefully they're methods had matured somewhat.

Loki swallowed nervously.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"Doesn't look too happy, boys," said Stark, looking to Loki. Thor was beginning to wonder why Tony needed to be in here, anyway. Curiosity, perhaps? The mortal's curiosity almost matched Loki's at times. But still, this wasn't a show; if Loki had any injuries, Stark should respect that all the realms didn't need to see them. _Although he _has_ been kind enough to allow us to stay here..._ Did they owe him something? Thor sighed internally. Perhaps they did. And anyway, Stark might be a bad liar, but he never gave sensitive information freely, he could not work for an organization like SHIELD if he couldn't _sometimes_ hold his tongue. And he felt sorry for Loki, Thor knew. He also knew that his little brother would smack the pity out of each one of them if he only knew, but, alas, as the humans say, what he doesn't know cannot hurt him.

Banner was now speaking, instructing Thor to help his brother lay on a small surface that would retract into a large strange contraption. Thor eyed the device warily, as if his very gaze could keep his brother from harm. Stark was right, Loki didn't look very happy at Banner's prodding. Still, Loki would have struggled more if he thought he were in any danger, so no doubt he at least understood _some_ of what was happening.

"He'll be fine," said the doctor. "It won't hurt him."

Thor stroked the side of his brother's face and backed away as the device came to life and Loki disappeared into it, the bottoms of his bare feet visible. A moment later a small whimper could be heard from inside, and Thor had to literally restrain himself from taking action, from tearing the noisy device to pieces to get to his brother. But one look at Bruce, at the look of reassurance that said, 'He'll be okay, don't worry,' and the thunder god relaxed.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

When Loki felt the movement of whatever he was laying on, and the vibrations reverberating through his body, he began to worry. He had been strapped down- presumably for his protection or some such nonsense -and he was beginning to feel trapped. _Don't move, Thor is here, he's_- But where was he? Loki couldn't reach for him, couldn't _move_. _Don't worry, he's nearby, he'll never leave you, don't worry, don't move._ But he felt vulnerable, exposed. His clothes- _Thor's_ clothes -had been removed and he felt naked in the small strange-feeling slip of cloth that Thor had put on him.

He felt a whimper escape. _Shut up, you fool! _He knew at least Banner was with them, since, at least from what he could remember, he was the only Avenger who had any medical knowledge- or perhaps they had asked another to perform these tests? No, it didn't seem likely. The Avengers Thor trusted, but no doubt his big brother wouldn't trust other mortals with the knowledge that Loki was back on Midgard. That Fury man would most likely jump at the chance of imprisoning him- but why hadn't he? Why had the Avengers kept quiet, or were they still planning on giving him to SHIELD? And where were Barton and Romanoff? So far, Thor had, apparently, asked the others to allow Loki to know of their presence, or did the two assassins prefer to remain in the shadows? To not allow their enemy knowledge that they were even in his presence?

The next thing Loki felt was Thor's hand on his head, carding through his hair. He flinched at the sudden touch, but breathed out a sigh when he realized whatever had been happening was now over. At least his thoughts had distracted him long enough to endure the test- whatever it was. He was free to move again, the oddly gentle restraints removed, and he grabbed onto his brother, hoping it was over.

But, of course not. At least an hour, if not longer, passed while Loki endured several odd tests, most of which he didn't understand, and some that frightened him.

Right now he was sitting on something, legs dangling, cool air on his back- he didn't like it, wanted to get up, for it to be done. Thor stayed by his side for almost all of it, and he was grateful, his presence the only thing anchoring him. But what was the purpose of all of this? Were they checking to make certain he was not a threat? Surely they could see that he was incapacitated; that he was without sight, hearing, or his words? Did they still fear him so? Did they think he might recover and decide to attack them? _No, won't hurt them-_ Did they think, even now, he might be capable of- _Won't happen- Can't won't no hurting others, don't fight back, no hurting others no hurting Thor- no no hurt- Thor- No!_

Loki jerked up suddenly, away from the unfamiliar table beneath him. He felt around for Thor frantically and when he felt the strong arms wrap around him he clung to the other with everything he had, a hand on the back of his head reassuring him more.

_I won't do anything anymore! _Loki faced where he knew Thor's face would be. _I can't- won't- it's not me, not me- I won't hurt them can't hurt them- don't leave me..._

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"Wow," said Banner for the hundredth time, it seemed. Thor watched Loki carefully as he sat still on the bed, back open to the air, mind obviously wandering as he was examined by the doctor. Banner had said clearly that he was not a _medical_ doctor- or at least not technically -but that he did have quite a bit of experience with healing others, even if not formally... or legally, Stark had added. The thunderer couldn't help but back away as the current examination had begun, and Loki didn't seem to notice.

"What's it now?" asked Stark lazily from where he sat, some ways away, legs propped up on some equipment that Banner had scolded him for placing his feet on. 'I'll buy another one' the man of iron had said.

"Nothing," said Banner, "just... he's really scarred up."

"Okay," said Stark flatly, looking to Loki and Bruce.

"Don't tell me you didn't notice, Tony, there's a few on his legs."

Stark dropped his feet off the instruments unceremoniously but remained seated, looking in their direction. "Yeah, well... I mean, they're like a million years old or something," he waved a hand at the two brothers, "battle scars, you know?"

Thor shook his head, "I have very few scars, Stark. It is very difficult to wound our kind severely enough to..." he couldn't say it. To scar Loki so much... what would it take? Most of the few scars that Thor had he had gained from his brief visit to Earth as a mortal when he was banished- and even those were small and barely above notice.

He sighed and covered his mouth with a hand. Thor had been trying his best to ignore Loki's scars- when he helped him bathe and change clothes, but now... With it out in the open, in the bright lights, with his friends bearing witness, it was difficult to insist that they didn't exist. He didn't wish to _acknowledge_ them because then he might see, might see what Loki had been through, might have to live it with him, one scar at a time.

The three stared at the trickster god's back, strips of white scars crisscrossing in lines like webs. Although not as badly, the rest of him hadn't fared much better.

Thor stared. He wanted to tear his gaze away, look away, _who has done this?!_ Look away, look away... _They'll pay!_ But hadn't they already? Or had he left before he had gotten them all-

Stark strode closer.

"Holy mother of-"

"Tony. Just..." but Bruce trailed off with a faint sigh.

Thor's eyes then fell on several oddly gathered scars at the small of Loki's back, they seemed to form some sort of pattern. The other two followed his eyes.

"What's that?" asked Stark, pointing but not touching.

Thor felt his blood filling his head, his anger rising quickly. He looked away for a moment, then turned back, gritted his teeth and said, "A name."

"What?" said Banner, but Thor didn't answer.

_A name? A name?!_ Someone had... had carved his name into Loki's back, and given it's position and clumsy script it had no ceremonial purpose or... any purpose at all. The two humans watched him, Banner even took a step back, crossing his arms over his chest protectively.

"Uh, look, buddy," said Stark warily. "I, uh..." He looked to Banner, then back at Thor, hands rising as if to stave off the god's rising anger with just his two limbs.

Thor felt the air crackling, _control yourself._ But he _couldn't_. _How can I? _Someone had carved his name into Loki's back _for fun._ And with an instrument powerful enough to scar him.

Thunder shook the building, and when Loki suddenly jerked and nearly flew off the table Thor was immediately by his side, anger forgotten at the trickster's fearful face.

"Oh, Loki," said Thor, as he hugged him tight with both arms, then put a hand on the back of his head. _Did he hear the thunder?_ Thor wondered. No, not possible. But maybe he felt the vibrations.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"This is seriously effed up," said Stark as he and Banner entered the living room without the two brothers. Thor had taken Loki back to their room and Stark was glad of it. They sat on couches opposite and they both stared at nothing for a while.

"Yeah," sighed Bruce finally, rubbing a hand across his face. "Actually, ah..."

Tony eyed him. "'Ah' what? Spit it out, green bean."

Bruce narrowed his eyes at the nickname as if to say, 'Really?' But he shook it away and stared out the window. "I, um, didn't really tell Thor everything."

"Hm? Why not?"

He looked back to Tony. "Are you serious? Did you see how he reacted to that... uh, to that name?"

Tony shrugged, "Can't say I blame him. And hey, is it just me or are gods messed up people?" Bruce nodded with a perked eyebrow. "So watcha got, Bruce?"

Just then, Rogers walked in with a tablet in his hand. "Hey guys, how did it go?"

_What the hell_, Tony thought. "Is that seriously a piece of _modern _technology in your hands, Capsicle?"

"Not good, huh?" said the soldier, mostly to Bruce.

"What makes you say that?" asked Bruce.

The captain shrugged with one shoulder and a glance upward. "Thunder."

Banner pursed his lips and nodded once. "Right."

Tony shook his head and watched in amazement as Steve shut off his tablet and sat down next to him. "Did you really learn how to use that all by your little self?"

Steve rolled his eyes. "So what happened?" he asked Bruce. "Is Loki okay?"

"Actually," Tony leaned forward, "apparently some seriously messed up guy decided to autograph our resident trickster god with a permanent marker on his back."

The captain furrowed his brow.

"Scars," answered Bruce with a sigh. "He means somebody, uh, sort of... carved his name on him... his..."

Steve's eyebrows hit his hairline. "Tony!" he exclaimed and looked to the inventor.

"What're you yelling at me for? _I_ didn't do it!" Tony yelled back.

"That wasn't _necessary_. Do you really think Loki would be okay with _everyone_ knowing that? I asked if he was _okay_, I don't need gossip."

"It's not gossip, it's facts!"

"It's _private_, Tony."

Bruce said nothing, eyes drifting between the two. Stark sat back, sighing through his nose. "Fine. Whatever. Not like he even knew it or anything, but anyway, Brucie, what were you saying? Full report?"

The good doctor raised a brow and gave him a look that said, 'Do you _want_ the other guy to come out?'

"Ugh," groaned Tony. "_Fine._ Again. Far be it for me to show some concern for my guests."

"You're just curious, Tony," said Steve, not completely angrily. Then the captain lowered his head. "And so am I." Stark perked up and lifted a finger. "But _not_," Steve cut him off, "enough to pry into his private business. Unless it's life-threatening, I don't think we need to know." Tony slouched back.

"Fine," Tony said again, stretching out his arms. It was becoming his new favorite word, apparently.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

To Thor's relief Bruce had confirmed what he had been hoping: that Loki was more or less returning to health. It was strange to think so, given his appearance, but his body was slowly returning to normal. Banner, who knew little about Aesir or Jotun physiology, couldn't quite comprehend how Loki could possibly heal from seemingly permanent blindness or deafness, but he trusted Thor's word that both would eventually heal on their own- even if it would take some time.

As soon as they were back in Thor's room Loki seemed to calm down considerably. On the one hand, Thor was happy that there was some place that his brother could feel safe, on the other, it also meant that anytime he was afraid they would have to retreat here, and stay until he was comfortable. And even _then_ Loki appeared content to remain here for hours on end. _Oh my dear brother_, thought Thor, _what has been done to you?_

Loki had never been fond of staying in one place. He could often be found sitting in the library or his room, reading and studying his spells, but he rarely remained there for very long. Even though Loki was not fond of physically sparring or training, he clearly enjoyed going on quests with Thor and their friends whenever the opportunity presented itself. Loki would also disappear for weeks, travelling to various realms and bringing back wonderful gifts for everyone. Enough that many in the realms began to call him the Sky-walker, one of the few names that Loki himself approved.

But now... what had happened to him that would change him so much? Thor was no fool, the place Loki had been sent to was meant for more than just punishment, otherwise why not keep him in Asgard? The dungeons were sufficiently equipped for any number of punishments, why had the All-father sent him _there_? Such a cruel place...

Thor shook his head, not wanting to remember, especially with Loki by his side, leaning against him contentedly. He knew his brother couldn't read his mind, but the thoughts felt too poignant, too distressing, and the superstitious part of his mind didn't want to ruin their peace with a few stray dark thoughts.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

_The wood splinters from the old table dug into his chest, which was wet and sticky from the blood trickling down from his back. His arms were pulled toward the floor perpendicular to his body, fastened there to the bottom of the table's front legs with chains digging into his wrists. His ankles, too, were chained, but to the table, instead- mercifully._

_The next cut from the knife was slow, beginning from his right shoulder blade. Loki gasped and tried to remain quiet, but he _couldn't_. His breath shook and he whimpered as the blade cut down his back with a deliberately slow motion, ending at his lower back._

_Tears mingled with the sweat that poured down his face. This room was always so hot, _too _hot. What he would give for a breath of fresh air, for a single gust of wind? It was always so stifling in here, smelling of sweat and old blood and death and everything that Loki hated, feared. Hot coals burned nearby; a reminder of what might come next- or perhaps not. They never told him what was to come, always kept in the dark, no knowledge to aid him. His torturers kept no schedules, no obvious patterns to show him the way._

_Loki cried out when another cut began near the previous one, and when it passed over the wound, Loki jerked and screamed, which only made it worse. He _knew_ not to move, but the pain was too much, he couldn't _not_ move, to try and get away, his instincts driving him._

"_Please!" he felt the word burst out. He had managed to remain silent until now, but what was the purpose of his silence? He couldn't even remember now; the heat pouring down his face and his back, burning him inside, outside, everywhere and everything and _where am I, what is this?_ Why wouldn't they say anything? Ever? Even one word? "Please," he said again, "what do you want?!" The words were gasped out, desperate and useless. This was his punishment, he knew, but why couldn't they even acknowledge him with a single word? Always so silent, as Loki was always so loud._

_His two tormentors said nothing, _continued_ saying nothing. Were they even the same two from before? Loki couldn't see them, and even if he could, they all always wore hoods- black hoods without holes to see through. All of them of the same body-type._

_The stinging pain of the knife dug into his lower back now, small cuts, but still deep. He heard the man chuckle. He didn't know why. Tears fell down his face, or was it sweat?_

_Loki had been here for only a few months, he guessed, but already he was breaking down. He didn't want to stay here, didn't want to endure his punishment... and for how long? Why did they have to be so creative? Why would his fath- would Odin choose so many different punishments? He never had in the past; always one type of punishment per offense. Or had Loki's numerous crimes called for numerous punishments?_

_He felt more tears falling. This would go on forever then... Did Odin truly have an army of torturers, could this go on for eternity? Would Loki die in this horrible place? Never seeing his mother again, his broth- No. No, they weren't his family, not anymore- not _ever_. They were nothing to him, nothing, noth-_

_Loki screamed when the knife was suddenly stabbed into his left thigh. It was then dragged downward, cutting a long line of red as Loki screamed and screamed into the wood._

_Please, stop..._

_But they didn't stop until Loki could barely remember his own name._

* * *

**A/N: ****So I've been thinking it would be an interesting test to try adding ideas from readers' suggestions. If you guys have something you'd like to see happen in this story then feel free to pitch the idea in a review or you can PM me if you want. Anything from the entire plot to small things, ie like when Loki was just exploring Thor's room- it was small but people seemed to like it. I'll give credit, of course, but I might tweak the idea to fit the story, etc. I may use lots of you guys' ideas or I may use none, lol. It just depends.**

**(Also, do any _The Sanguine Wood_ readers notice a similarity with a certain element in this chapter and something in that story? Lol. I didn't even notice until now. ;D The two stories aren't connected, but still...)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Soooo sorry guys for not updating in so long! Apparently, it's becoming a trend, lol. Unfortunately, it was a combination of writer's block and real life that got in the way, not to mention there's something in this chapter that I had a hard time writing out. I know I tend to ramble, so I'll shut up now and let you get to the story!**

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**Chapter 7**

Today was the day Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton would return.

The morning seemed less bright than usual to Thor, but he suspected his own mood was coloring his opinion of it. It had been five days since coming to Midgard, and Thor was certain Loki barely slept, if at all, each night. And when he did, his little brother awoke screaming- as best he could scream -blood trickling down his chin. Thor had changed the sheets twice already.

Loki's blank eyes, however, gave no overt sign of weariness, they appeared much the same as when they first arrived- was that because he had always been suffering, and there had been no change? Or perhaps he truly _had_ been sleeping, at least enough for him. He hoped for the second.

Breakfast had been quiet. Thor couldn't determine if the quietness was because Loki's lips were still a little bloody and the others had noticed, because they were as nervous as he about the two agents' return, or if something else had come over his friends. Loki was the same, as obviously he had no way of knowing what was to come. Thor both pitied and envied his ignorance, then felt ashamed of both the next moment.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

After breakfast Loki was led back to Thor's room. He certainly _liked_ being in Thor's room, but he was hoping to explore the tower a little today, if he could somehow convey that wish to his brother. He knew the tower was quite tall, and that exploring it would take some time. There was very little that could entertain him, after all.

But here they were and Thor was _pacing_. It was odd, Thor pacing- he almost _never_ paced. Even when they were younger Thor always met things that would make most youths nervous with eager, but decidedly _not_ nervous, actions. The young Thor once broke mother's favorite vase with a simple flick of his arm during one of his enthusiastic waits, but he _had not_ been pacing. Thor doesn't pace, _why is he pacing?_

Loki sat on the foot of the bed beside where the thunderer paced, his own nervousness growing as he felt Thor pass by him again and again, his knees grazing the passing figure. A sudden impulse came over him that he simply_ could not_ control. He subtly flicked out a single foot, which caught on his older brother's leg, and Loki felt Thor's legs flail as the floor shook a little with a no doubt ungraceful thud.

A small smirk crossed his lips, even at the expense of feeling the pain in them, but it quickly disappeared when he felt a gush of wind near him. His instincts flared up immediately and he shrunk back against the bed, but his own legs were still somewhat tangled and he ended up falling to the floor on his backside. His body stiffened and he raised his arms protectively, although he wasn't certain why he was doing it.

Then there was a strong hand on his shoulder, squeezing tightly, but not hurting. It patted him there and squeezed again and he felt another small gust of wind as Thor sat next to him on the carpet, and Loki confirmed it when he reached out and felt for his brother's arm.

The next thing that came over Loki he tried his best not to do it, but it was filling up his chest and he knew _not_ trying to do it would make it rise even more. _Don't!_ he ordered himself, but it was too late.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Thor absolutely could not believe that he was this nervous. _Why am I nervous?_ Both Barton and Natasha were his friends, he had fought many battles with them, seen both of them drunk, saved both of their lives, even been angry with them- and they angry with him -and if all of that didn't make them friends, what did?

Even so, this wasn't about _him_, was it? It was about his brother, about _Loki_, who sat next to him quietly- _of course quietly, you idiot_, which was no doubt Loki's voice manifesting in his head. He passed by the trickster again, knees nearly touching.

Barton, more than any of them, had been wronged by Loki; and Romanoff was more his friend than any of the others- what hurt him hurt her as well. If the archer had issue with Loki, then so did she, there was no question about it. They were loyal to the Avengers but their bond with each other was stronger. _Like Loki and I_, Thor thought absently as he passed by Loki again.

Could his brother somehow apologize to them? But the real question: would he want to? _Did_ he feel remorse for all he had done? Loki had made his feelings on mortals clear the last time he was here, comparing them to ants and forcing them to kneel before him. Thor hardened his gaze as he continued pacing, _like a villain wearing my brother's skin, how can-_

Thor's legs suddenly tripped on something and he barely caught himself on one arm before his face felt the carpet. On instinct Thor growled and jerked to his feet, rushing to the source of his distress- but there was only Loki, who cowered back and suddenly fell off the bed in a heap.

The look on the younger's face erased his thoughts in less than a second. Thor huffed and smiled and crouched down next to him, then leaned passed Loki's raised arms to clutch his shoulder good-naturedly.

_Oh my brother,_ Thor smiled wider, _oh my dear, trickster brother!_ Loki's hand landed on Thor's arm. He couldn't help it, everything in him felt about to burst, and before he knew it Thor felt his laugh escape in a loud cough, then continue in a full-blown laugh. And to his great surprise, Loki's eyes crinkled with laughter as the mischief god's face scrunched up in his obvious effort to contain his laugh. Even so, Loki's chest moved up and down in laughter, and short breaths moved in and out of his nose. Thor laughed even louder, watching his brother- he laughed for both of them, _needed_ to laugh for them. He soon felt tears falling down his cheeks as he continued laughing, as Loki bent over and cringed when he pulled his stitches, although he still didn't stop chuckling through the tight strings.

Thor's stomach hurt, and by the way Loki's hand was on his own, he too felt the pain of laughter there. The two brothers continued until they were both crying- or at least Thor imagined Loki would be if he could, until there was a knock on the door.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

The two brothers entered the living room quicker than Natasha was expecting. Steve and, unfortunately, Tony had explained what had happened to the god, as Bruce was busy today with something in the lab. Truthfully, she couldn't care less about any of it, all she cared about right now was Clint. She had no doubt that Loki was in bad shape, but that didn't excuse what he had done, nor did it mean they had to treat him like he was suddenly one of them.

Still, at the sight of the trickster god, clinging to his brother, mouth stitched and eyes milky-white, she couldn't help the pang of compassion that stirred in her. _No_, she thought, _he's the enemy, and Clint... _She internally sighed. Whatever Clint needed, she would provide. Whatever he said, however he felt, she would stand by him. Loki had hurt Clint the most, out of all of them, he had a right to retribution, no matter what the rest of them said.

"Lady Natasha," Thor greeted, almost meekly- well that was... wrong. Meek was not a word that should be anywhere _near_ the thunder god. Then, "Barton," he said next, nodding once, as if in respect.

Natasha nodded back to him, feeling awkward greeting their friend in so formal a manner, but it was as if it wasn't _Thor_ greeting them, as if it was on someone else's behalf; one guess as to who that was.

Clint scoffed and Natasha looked to him. The archer's eyes looked everywhere but at the two brothers, hands clenching at his sides, then his arms crossed over his chest, then they were at his side again. He said nothing.

Suddenly she was glad that Steve had asked Tony to leave the room- well, _kicked out_ was more like it, even if the billionaire had declared he had better things to do than 'watch the drama', which of course was ridiculous; he loves drama.

"Thor," said Steve, stepping forward, nervousness clear on his handsome face. "We, uh... Natasha?" he turned to her next, almost as if he were _asking_ what should be done. That wasn't surprising; when it came to Clint and _Loki_, not a single one of the Avengers could deal with him- no one except her.

_Fine_, she stepped up, figuratively, at least. "Well," she said, "this is an unexpected surprise." It wasn't a surprise, they already knew most of what there was to know.

The blonde head of an oddly nervous god nodded once. "Yes. It fills me with joy to see the two of you returned safely," he said, and the words didn't sound right in his mouth, like he was trying to force them out.

_Just get it over with, Natasha, just say it._ She nodded. Clint did nothing, _stared_ at nothing, still averting his gaze from everything important. She thought he had moved a little closer to her, but surely it was just her imagination. "Thank you," she said cordially, a quirk of her lips the only evidence of possible honesty. "Do you really think he's changed, even after all that?" she said suddenly, and it was- so _suddenly_, because she couldn't believe that she had just said that to a friend. But right now, only _he_ mattered, the man standing next to her, and she couldn't help the bite that was sneaking into her thoughts and out her lips.

Thor frowned but kept his composure. "He is not a threat, Natasha; I would not allow him here were he still-"

"That's not what I asked," she interrupted. Her eyes were cold; she couldn't help it. Clint's form straightened up at her side but was still, so still.

Two heads lowered, both blonde, a god and a soldier. "I..." began Thor. Natasha could almost_ see_ how he gathered his thoughts- always such an open book. "I cannot..." He stopped, thoughts moving on his face, saying everything before his voice even rang out. "I cannot... know..." And the sheepish look the thunder god gave, head tilted down, was so uncharacteristic she had to actively _try_ to keep the gentle smile from crossing her face.

"I see," was all she said. She wanted nothing more than for Clint to jump in, to _say something_, but she would never want him to force anything out, to bring out _those memories_. She would be his shield, if he wanted, just as he would be to her when she needed.

A chill ran through her when, abruptly, Loki turned in the general direction of Thor and made a small muffled sound, as if in question. The chill wasn't because of _him_, but because Clint flinched, literally _flinched_, next to her. The movement was small, and perhaps not noticeable to the others, but it was like a loud bell going off in Natasha's ear and she wanted nothing more than to silence it.

"Loki," Thor said, hand moving to cup his brother's cheek. "It will not be much longer." The normally boisterous thunder god's soft voice grated on Natasha's nerves and she wanted to tell him to yell, scream, be _loud_ as he always had. This gentleness wasn't unwelcome, but it just wasn't _him_, it wasn't Thor, and the added knowledge that this new element, this new _situation_, would interrupt and throw their lives into chaos... She grit her teeth behind her lips and watched the brothers, uncertain, which was rarer than she realized, what to even say or do.

Barton scoffed again, half-turning away, as if he didn't want to be so exposed to whatever was taking place in front of him, this _strangeness_ clearly getting to him as well. It was a comfort, to know he was there, just like her, confused and incredulous and even _angry_ that this was thrust upon them. Because how could they say no?

"Clint," she heard Steve say, although for once she couldn't imagine what he might possibly say next.

"What?" said Clint, although his words were directed at the brothers. "Isn't there something _else_ you guys should be doing now?" he asked bitterly, eyes suddenly so hard and staring. "Or is 'greet the Avenger of the day' a new game with you, hm, Loki?"

Natasha gritted her teeth harder, finding her words- her precious words, that usually got her out of things -abandoning her. She wasn't even sure what Clint was saying, but it dawned on her that he just wanted to say _something_, maybe _anything_.

"Barton-" began Thor, but Clint cut him off.

"No, Thor, I was talking to your _brother_-"

"Clint." Steve now. Voice hard.

"_What?!_" the archer nearly screamed.

Silence. The air was too heavy and yet too thin. Natasha saw Thor's Adam's apple bob as he stared at nothing.

Steve finally broke the silence. "Clint," he said quietly, "Loki can't hear you."

And it was obvious, so _obvious_ that Clint hadn't known, that he hadn't been _listening_ when Tony and Steve had explained the situation. Clint had been standoff-ish, fidgeting- or at least to Natasha's trained eye -and he hadn't _truly_ been listening. She suspected he probably stopped hearing them after 'Loki is here...'

Natasha's eyes flicked to her partner's, who looked about to say the word 'What' but couldn't get it out. And now he was _staring_, eyes wide. _She_ knew why, what that meant to him- why it would mean _anything_ to him. And when he bolted for the door Natasha didn't stop him, didn't call out to him. She only followed him.

.

When Clint entered his room Natasha was barely a step behind. "Clint," she said carefully, waiting for him to respond, _if _he wanted to. She was here, and she knew that might not be enough for him, but _she was here_.

"Tasha," he said, pacing, hands running through his hair. He smiled suddenly, mirthless, dark. A chuckle escaped to match as his eyes met hers. "This is... this is crazy, I don't-" He shut his eyes tight and looked down.

He didn't need to say it, never needed to. She knew him too well. She knew that he had always struggled with his hearing, always trying to hide it, make up for it, make it _go away_, but he couldn't. If Loki was blind and mute, so be it, it didn't _matter_ because he was the enemy and how could he even _think_ about identifying with that? But this... She knew it wasn't that Loki was deaf, it was just the last straw, the final brick that weighed everything down too heavily, it's precarious balance on top of the already crumbling building that made everything _break_, so suddenly and without warning.

She wanted to say his name, make him hear her, but it was pointless. Words weren't going to work here- at least not from her. She remained an arms-length away, ready for him, if he needed. _Only if he needs._

"I can't... I can't handle this, I don't think I can take this," he said quickly, but his voice was low, strained. He turned to the wide window, hands on his hips, head hanging. A sigh left his lips.

She nodded, even though he couldn't see her. She walked up behind him, then, against her wish to hold her friend, she only stood there, beside him, arms hanging at her sides.

She didn't smile at him, she only looked- at those glassy eyes and slightly furrowed brow.

_Yes_, she thought, _he needs me, and I'll be there for him..._

* * *

**A/N: As you may have guessed, the thing that I had a difficult time with was Clint and Natasha's reactions. I'm still not satisfied with it, but I hope you guys enjoyed! ^^ I don't know if I'll be able to get back to this story more regularly, but I'll try my best.  
Oh, and for those of you who were confused about Clint's reaction there at the end, in the comic books Clint is deaf and uses hearing aids. Not sure if this is true of MCU Hawkeye, but it was interesting to me so I added it. ;)**

**Also, keep up with the ideas! I've already put in one idea from you guys in the next chapter, which I've already started. I'm not saying it's a _guarantee_, but you guys' ideas _may_ inspire me to write more of this fic. _May_. ;D Until next time!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I sorta feel like I'm rushing this chapter, but I figured if my perfectionism kicks in I can fix it later. ;D **

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**Chapter 8**

It hadn't gone as well as Thor had hoped. In fact, it hadn't gone well at all. Loki _still_ didn't know the two assassins were in the building and Thor couldn't help but feel like he was keeping a secret that Loki needed to know.

At the moment, he and his brother were wandering the halls, as Loki felt of the innumerable and varied things in the tower. After lunch, which was much easier for Loki now that Tony had put a 'mini-fridge' in their room, Loki had, with considerable effort, indicated to Thor that he wished to look around. Well, actually Thor hadn't realized it at all and, oddly enough, it was _Jarvis_ that had figured it out. Loki had pulled and pushed him out the door, then began touching things in the corridor outside- to which Thor was utterly confused. The AI had chimed in suddenly, suggesting what the younger god might be trying to say.

Afterward, Thor couldn't help but feel slight jealousy, that an _artificial intelligence _had figured his brother out where he could not. It was ridiculous, of course, he knew Jarvis was very intelligent- hence the title -but Loki was _his _brother. _Should I not know my own brother better than some machine of Stark's?_

While wandering one of the floors below theirs, Loki began to stray a little further from Thor. It didn't concern the thunder god since there was no one in the corridors and, even if there were, there was no one hostile in the tower. Thor himself moved around, touching things- paintings and plants and other various and, sadly, uninteresting items -and was barely paying any attention to his brother.

Suddenly, a muffled yelp and a sound of a door opening reached Thor's ears, and then a curse from someone near Loki's previous location. Not seeing his brother, Thor dashed to where he knew Loki had been, only to see him falling backward- almost as if thrown -out of a room that he had somehow entered.

"What the hell?!" yelled the familiar voice of a man.

Loki was making repeated sounds of distress through his nose as he scrambled away on the floor, then hit his head against the corridor opposite the door. Another yelp and whimpers of panic escaped his closed lips as he reached out his arms- reminiscent of a child awaiting a parent -waiting for Thor. Immediately, the thunder god was at his side, pulling him into a comforting embrace and talking against the side of the trembling god's head, just as he always did when Loki was fearful.

Another curse from behind Thor's back. "I, uh... sorry, I guess," said Agent Barton's suddenly quiet voice. Thor looked to him, but not with anger, knowing that the archer had no doubt opened the door, only to find Loki outside.

Still, Thor wanted to know. "What happened?" he asked, standing up with his brother still clinging to his neck.

Barton shifted his weight, crossing his arms, then uncrossing them. "I, um, not sure. I just opened the door and he..." a hand waved in Loki's direction "... fell in..."

Thor nodded. "Apologies, I should have been watching him closer; it will not happen again."

Natasha Romanoff walked up beside her partner. "You okay?" It wasn't clear who she was asking, but the archer answered with an 'I'm fine' as he walked back into the room. The lady, however, walked into the corridor with the brothers. "Is_ he_ okay?" she asked next, face betraying nothing, not even true concern, if she felt it.

Thor nodded, but it was more a reflex than anything. There was no real way to know how 'okay' Loki could be.

The spy crossed her arms, but more out of contemplation than defensiveness or anger. "I guess he has no idea what's happening," she said, looking at Thor, then Loki. The corner of her lip curved up in an almost smile as she shrugged. "Tony told us they had to let Loki touch them for him to know they were there- would you like me to try that with him?" she offered suddenly, and Thor was taken aback by her willingness to help an enemy. _Well, perhaps it is not for Loki, but for me._

"If it is not an inconvenience..." Thor began.

"Oh, no, it's fine," she said, but her mask had returned and Thor had only her words to tell him what she felt; and like Loki, Natasha's words betrayed only what she wished. She took a step forward, hands lowered to her sides.

The thunder god hesitated, trying to pry his brother off enough to get him to face the agent, at least. After some muffled protests and quick kisses on the smaller god's head, Loki was finally facing forward, even if he still clung to Thor with an iron grip. His white eyes were wide- probably a habit since there was no need -and he whimpered and tried to pull back when Thor tried to raise his arm.

Thor sighed but Natasha spoke, "Is it possible he already knows?" He looked to her, confused. "I mean, he practically fell on Clint, could he have figured out who else was here with just that?"

It wasn't _impossible_, Thor assumed, but it might be better to be certain. "Perhaps, but we should still..." he trailed off and Natasha nodded.

Gripping the thin wrist- _you are still so thin, brother_ -Thor guided the hand forward, but suddenly wondered _how_ he would know it was her.

"My hair," offered Natasha, touching the red locks briefly.

"Of course," said Thor, knowing that Loki would have guessed that the only people he had so far been introduced to were Avengers, and Natasha was the only Avenger- other than Thor -who had long hair.

The long fingers, slightly shaking, moved forward, then tentatively touched the hair as the spy remained perfectly still. And when his fingers- which Thor knew were cold -moved to her face, feeling there with light brushes, Natasha _still_ did not move, face blank and watching the trickster. What emotion lay there? Thor could never guess in a thousand years.

As if her face had suddenly caught fire, Loki jerked away, almost hitting the back wall. His face frowned fiercely and he looked to Thor, as if he could see the thunder god even through his damaged eyes, as a long whine passed his closed lips. Clearly he was _asking_ for something, his distress mounting. Still, it was different, somehow, than with the others. Loki wasn't just _fearful_, he looked... Thor wasn't sure _what_ the emotion was.

"I think he's asking you to protect him," stated the assassin, cutting through Thor's thoughts.

"What?" he blurted out, holding Loki up, returning his desperate gaze.

"He's asking you to _continue_ protecting him; from us, I think. Me and Clint." Now his gaze shifted to the woman, who's face remained blank, but her eyes watched the god in Thor's arms intently.

"Why would he-?" Thor said, confused. "He knows I will protect him, why would he ask this of me?"

"He knows we're friends and that he's just the enemy here- at least to the rest of us. And how can you be sure he knows that? Have you been able to tell him?"

Thor frowned. He in fact _hadn't_ considered that. He knew that Loki was clueless as to what happened around him, but it never occurred to Thor that he might doubt his love, his devotion, his _vow_ to protect Loki. "I-" started Thor, mouth agape, but he couldn't finish his sentence since he had to, _had to_ crush his brother in his embrace, had to _make_ Loki see- _He must see, he must see... I will never leave him, abandon him. I will always protect him. How can he not see?_

He kissed the bridge of the other's nose and held him against his chest, mouth on his temple. "I will never _stop_ protecting you, brother. Never... never, never, never..." He repeated it as a mantra, certain that if he said it enough times, his little brother would somehow hear it, _know_ it. He had to. He just had to.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

_Loki laughed. It wasn't a laugh that said, 'You're quite humorous' but rather 'You're quite pathetic'. The god of mischief and lies had been moved... somewhere. He was no longer in Asgard, or so he assumed, given that they had passed through a portal to get here. The air was dry, quite irritating against his skin, and his cell small. Smaller than the one on Asgard, at least. Did they think to punish him with a smaller cell? Surely they needed a lesson in how to punish others._

_They had said nothing, his new keepers, and they all wore masks. Well, more like hoods, black hoods without eye-holes that were no doubt meant to frighten him. _What do they take me for? _He had chuckled at their ridiculous visage, insufficient to frighten a child._

_And now, here they were, trying to _torture_ him, or so Loki assumed. _They need a lesson in that, as well,_ he thought. It was a simple beating, nothing more. He was tied to a rickety wooden chair in the center of the room. _

_It wasn't that it didn't hurt, but Loki had survived far worse and by people far scarier- not that _these_ were even remotely frightening._

_The beatings had started a few days ago and they had returned Loki to his cell without a single word to him after a few hours of the 'torture'. It was strange, that they didn't ask him anything, or even say anything to each other, but it wasn't anything Loki couldn't handle. He just assumed this was meant to be a part of his punishment and that the men were too dumb to even speak. _Brutes, the lot of them.

_But after two weeks of the same torture, Loki was becoming tired of it. "Is there nothing _else_ you can try?" he asked mockingly. "A flogging, perhaps? The rack? Drowning? Anything? Have you _no_ creativity at all, good man?" He wasn't certain just _who_ he was addressing, perhaps all three of them. "I'm getting _bored_," said Loki in the driest voice he could manage. _

_Alright. So he wasn't truly _bored_, but he couldn't very well allow them to think any of this was _getting_ to him- because it wasn't._

_A fist flew at him and his head flung to the side. "Ow," the trickster said, tweaking his sore jaw, wishing his hands were free so he could massage it._

_He sighed and laughed again. Then laughed and laughed as the assault continued. This was nothing to him, nothing at all. Compared to these pathetic men Loki was a _master_ torturer- and even _he_ knew barely anything about how to do it properly._

_To his surprise the men's tune _did_ change, and on the next day. They flogged him until he bled, then returned him to his cell at night; or what Loki assumed was night. This went on for a week. _This is... nothing_. Nothing at all, nothing._

_The next week they did something different again. And this... Loki did_ not_ like. A rack. _Truly? A rack? What are we, ancient Midgardians?_ It was... not pleasant. _But I can take it, nothing... it's nothing._ But he still screamed and screamed, until he couldn't scream because he was afraid something might _break_ if he made a noise. And then something did- all four limbs._

_The rack they used three times, allowing Loki to rest for several days before beginning anew with his healed body._

_After- Loki wasn't certain _how_ many days had passed since he was first introduced to the rack -a few days of recuperating from his third session with the dreaded device, the men brought Loki to the room, and there was nothing but a bucket filled with water._

_The mischief god was confused for a moment, but _only_ for a moment. His own words suddenly jumped out at him, _'A flogging, perhaps?' _Could it be?_ 'The rack?' _Loki shut his eyes tight as they dragged him to the murky water. _No, no, no... _He was forced to kneel, his hands chained behind his back. '_Drowning? Anything?'

_Loki broke down on the first day. He had never feared water so much in his entire life. The primal need to _breathe_ was so powerful that the idea of _not_ breathing overwhelmed him. Still, _it's nothing, nothing... I can... Yes, I can take- can take this.

_The water wasn't icy cold, as he was expecting, but scalding hot. He couldn't tell if his face was melting off but it felt like it. By the amount of steam and the look of the water, Loki surmised that the water wasn't _actually_ very hot, but it felt like it to him. _How could they know?_ Had Odin told them? But of course he did, why _wouldn't_ he?_

_And after that day, after Loki had mockingly suggested they get more _creative_... They did. Every few days or weeks he was greeted by a new kind of torture. The men still didn't speak and Loki could only scream at them; scream in anger and frustration and finally, fear and anguish._

_Then one day, after months of torture and days of the same, excruciating session, one of the men, masked as the others, leaned down and whispered: "Perhaps you should watch what you say, hm, Silvertongue..?"_

_Loki never mocked them again after that._

.

Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton were here. Well, he _assumed_ the archer was here, but _of course_ he was. Didn't those two live for each other? Barton had told him so much, during his brief stint as his thrall, told him that, while they were not lovers, they _cared_ for each other, deeply. At the time Loki couldn't help but be reminded of himself and Thor, and how they used to be, and it had made him angrier, more determined. Thor was_ not _his brother, he had told himself- oh how wrong he was; for who else but a brother would care for Loki so much after what he had done? He knew his punishments, though cruel, were deserved. He could only try and thank his brother, in any way possible, and be grateful- so, so grateful that Thor had decided to save him._ I don't deserve this kindness..._

After Thor had tried to reassure Loki of his devotion, he had attempted to get Loki to roam and explore some more, but the trickster no longer felt the want, his curiosity faded with the feel of the Black Widow's soft hair. Red, he remembered, like a dull fire that might be set ablaze if she looked at you for too long. In a lot of ways, she reminded him of Sif; not because she was a woman, that was the folly of ignorant fools, but because of her _fierceness_. Of Sif and the Warriors Three, it was she who Loki always feared angering too much. Like Thor, she was quick to anger and quicker to pull her blade, sharp and thin and challenging anyone to question her.

But Romanoff... She had that same fierceness, yes, but far more control, poise. And she used that image to every advantage she could take; against foe and friend alike, she was _not_ to be trifled with. Loki had learned that the hard way when he underestimated her resolve, mistaking her for a weeping maiden- an amateur's mistake, he should have seen through it.

Knowing all this, Loki was _certain_ she would do something to him. Perhaps not in front of Thor, and perhaps not for some time, but eventually, she _would_ enact her vengeance for Loki's offense against her partner. Strangely, Loki welcomed it. He feared the retribution, yes, but he also knew that it was well-deserved. Thor would never allow them to kill him, Loki knew, but pain? Most likely. Loki would take it and then it would be over. Perhaps Barton would be the one to deliver justice, or perhaps the Widow would. Or... would they enact their plans separately? It didn't matter, _it doesn't matter_. He would not fight- and truly, could he? -and it would be done and finished and Thor would still be here to comfort and get him through it.

Yes. He resolved to accept it and he did. Whatever happened, Thor was here, _here... He won't leave me... he- he... won't._ But Loki didn't know, didn't know if he would be. _Please don't leave me. Don't leave me..._

* * *

**A/N: Fortunately, I've already written most of the next chapter, so hopefully I'll get it out sooner. Super sorry to anyone who's waiting for the ending of _The Sanguine Wood_ but I've got some serious writer's block going on with that story, _ugh_.**

**Thank you to Mikkeneko for the idea about the mini-fridge in Thor's room! ;D Also, some things a few of you have been suggesting will be used next chapter. Until next time!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So I actually wrote this several days ago, but I was just so annoyed with it that I kept re-writing parts. Ugh. I'm still not sure about the direction I'm going with it, so, fair warning, I might change this if future chapters demand I go a different route. Also, sorry for the shortness of it, I didn't want to include the next part as I'm still revising it.**

**(I have updated _The Sanguine Wood_, as well, for those of you interested.)**

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**Chapter 9**

Thor heard the sound of scuffling feet outside his- and now, Loki's -bedroom door. He walked over the carpeted floor tentatively, determined not to awaken his brother, who had finally fallen asleep, and opened the door quietly. Immediately, Steve rushed toward him with a determined look on his face- the one that said, 'There's something happening.'

"Thor," said Steve hurriedly. He looked ready to say something else before saying, quietly, peeking a little around the Asgardian, "Is Loki okay?"

The thunderer nodded. He was glad that his friend was concerned for his brother's well-being, but he wished to know what was happening. He lightly closed the door behind him as he stepped more fully into the corridor. "Is anything wrong, captain?" he asked, his voice louder than he had expected.

Steve looked behind him for a moment, "Yeah." He looked back at Thor. "Everyone's waiting for you and Clint in the living room," he said quickly as Thor followed him. "Something's happening with SHIELD. The helicarrier or something. Fury's on the line."

When Thor and Steve reached the room, they heard Tony's voice and they saw Natasha in front of the large screen that seemed to appear out of nowhere- at least to Thor -every time they spoke with Director Fury. Right now, however, it was Maria Hill that was on the screen.

Her voice was strained as her harried look appeared on the screen as Thor approached the others.

"Regardless, we need you and Thor here, _now_. This situation can't get-"

The screen cut to static. Everyone stared.

"Uhh..." said Tony. "Jarv?" The billionaire scratched the side of his head.

_"It appears the transmission has been cut from their end; there is nothing I can do."_

"Right," said Tony. "Keep trying to get them back- in the mean time..." he turned to Thor "... time to suit up?" His eyebrows were slightly raised, the question clearly directed at Thor.

"What's happening, Tony?" Steve cut in.

Tony's eyes remained on Thor's for a moment but quickly went to the soldier's. "Attack," he said plainly.

"An _attack_?" asked Clint, who had just walked into the room. He stopped a few steps away when he caught sight of the thunder god.

"Right," was all Tony said as he eyed the others.

"What the hell does that mean?" asked the archer.

Natasha spoke up, voice calm but clearly in a hurry. "The helicarrier's under attack. Don't know by what or who, or whether it's even still in the air."

Surprise swept through the room even as no one spoke.

Finally, Steve stepped up. "What can we do?" he asked Tony and Natasha, the two that seemed to be the most informed at the moment.

Tony shook his head a little and walked halfway out of the room before turning around. "All of us who can fly need to get out there, pronto. Thor, that's just you and me. Pack up your fancy hammer and let's go." He walked- almost ran -out of the room, something more than just determination in his step, like he wanted to avoid something...

_Of course..._

Thor whipped around to the others. "I cannot leave Loki, he may awaken..." Thor hadn't been able to go back to sleep, especially after Loki had woken up with his muffled screams that haunted Thor's dreams. But that had been hours ago, Loki would soon wake up to find... _No,_ he thought. He _couldn't _leave. But this was important; there were thousands of people on the helicarrier, could he live with himself if the great flying fortress fell to the ground? Especially if he could have somehow prevented it?

Suddenly, Romanoff walked up to him, calm but clear determination written on her face. "I know this is your decision, but you need to decide _now_. Loki needs you, yes, but he'll _survive_. The people on that helicarrier might not. Make a decision, we need to go." She walked around the thunder god and nodded to Clint. She called back, "Hill ordered all personnel away from the carrier until the situation's sorted, so we can't go in. Thor," he turned around to face her, thoughts running through his head like an angry beehive. "We need you out there." Then she and her archer walked briskly out of the room.

The captain was suddenly beside him. "You gonna go?" he asked quietly, although there was a clear request there.

_Time..._ He didn't have _time_ to think about this, to consider as he truly wished to, to weigh the options and the downsides and what, what, _what am I thinking?_ He loves Loki, and he would do anything for him, even die, but this... Could he let _others_ die in his stead?

No. No he couldn't. Not only could he not forgive himself, but he feared he might resent Loki for it. So...

He turned fully to Captain America, then, in a strained but strong voice: "I will go."

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

He was panicking. It was strange, to _know_ it, to _feel_ it happening as it happened, but Loki knew it like he knew his brother's voice, how he could pick it out from even a crowd of hundreds talking.

Thor wasn't here. He had searched the room, after waking up, only to find no one here. He had reassured himself at first, saying he was perhaps in the washroom. But after some time, and a slightly panicked search of the cold-tiled room, across the sink and the bathtub, he knew he _wasn't here_.

_Where could he be- where is he, where is he-_ Loki tried to control his breathing, the short bursts through his nose making him light-headed. _He's only outside. He's gone to get us breakfast, that's all, that's all- Has he left me?_ He quickly quashed that thought, it couldn't be true, _couldn't be!_

His shaking hands felt along the wall and landed on the cold door. The handle felt strange under is fingers, almost heavy, like the simple metal might fail to move even if pushed with all his might, but, as it had so many times before, it turned and gave way easily.

A harsh breath of air left his nose as he, nervous and trembling, curled his fingers around the door and peaked his head out.

He didn't know what he was doing, he couldn't see, or hear, or do _anything_, what was he _doing_?

Suddenly, there was an arm on his forearm, lightly touching there but foreign- _not his, it's not his, not Thor's, not brother's!_ Loki jerked back, stumbling and falling backward into Thor's room. Who was it?!

Nothing further happened but Loki wasn't taking any risks, he knew they could still be there, waiting, watching, doing... what? There was no way to know. He scrambled backward and half-crawled across the floor, feeling better with the carpet under his fingers- _anchoring_ him to the world, the world that seemed to have turned upside and shaken him about. He found a corner and huddled in it, feeling foolish, knowing that if this person wished harm upon him he could do nothing. _Nothing!_

Loki wrapped his arms around himself and drew up his knees to his chest, then tried his best not to cry out or show any more weakness than he already radiated.

_Where's Thor? Where's Thor? Where's Thor?!_

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"Okay, okay, okay, you're okay..." tried Steve as he rushed toward the obviously frightened trickster. Loki quickly fell backward and scurried across the floor until he hit a corner. Steve grimaced and stayed near the door, suddenly feeling that to rush forward might somehow cause the other to panic even more.

"He can't see us, Cap," said the Black Widow, stepping up beside him.

"I know," he said, but still didn't approach. "We can't just leave him here, though."

Natasha raised a single red eyebrow. "And why not? I don't think he'll move for anyone but Thor."

For the past few hours she and Clint had been trying to contact the rest of SHIELD any way they knew how. When they finally got through, the situation had apparently been handled- only to find out that the _crisis_ had been averted, but not the aftermath. The helicarrier was in the water, but was less than functional. They weren't sure how, but Thor and Tony had kept it from crashing into the ocean. The rest of the Avengers breathed a collective sigh of relief as the sun peeked over the horizon, the new light a welcomed view that mirrored their own thoughts. For whatever reason, however, the airspace around the helicarrier was still restricted so they couldn't fly there with their quinjet. Further prodding was only met with repeated orders to remain where they were.

Steve had been on his way back to his room when he caught sight of the dark-haired head poking out of Thor's door. Concerned, he had approached, then spoke, then, shaking his head at himself, had realized how stupid he was being- Loki couldn't _hear _him. The hand on the trickster's arm was an instinct, nothing more, and now, here he was, unsure what to do to comfort the pathetic figure huddled fearfully in the corner. It was _his fault_, he shouldn't have touched him in the first place.

As if reading his mind, the red-head said, "It's not your fault, Cap."

He frowned at her, slightly amused. "How do you _do _that?"

She gave a small smile and a half-shrug, as if that were explanation enough. She looked to Loki. "We should just leave him alone; he'll be fine until Thor gets back."

"What makes you say that?" Because how could she possibly know? He looked her straight in the eye, always wondering if he might one day be able to see what's behind those closed-off eyes.

She shrugged again as her eyes remained on the trickster. "He's tough, Cap. He's been through hell and back. He'll be okay, whatever happens. We should leave him be."

He stared at her. There was no malice in her voice, just... understanding.

Natasha walked away and disappeared around the corner as Steve remained where he was, deciding to keep an eye on Thor's charge, at least until he got back. It was the least he could do for his friend.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"This is nuts! This is crazy- I don't like this- Have I told you how much I hate this?" Tony was rambling. It was something Thor was used to by now, but he almost seemed to be panicking. Well, perhaps not _panicking_, but he was certainly more agitated than normal.

From what Thor understood, Tony and he were trapped somewhere near the bottom of the helicarrier, in a small metal room with several benches to sit on- Thor remembered it to be a "locker room", although it was a small one. The billionaire was pacing from one end to the other repeatedly.

Tony had said something about why Thor couldn't simply use his hammer to break the walls and escape, something about water pressure- which Thor didn't quite understand -and that even if Thor could survive, Tony wouldn't, now that his suit was damaged.

"I still do not understand why I simply cannot use Mjolnir to-" tried Thor again, but Tony interrupted.

"No, no. I _told _you already," he used both hands to demonstrate, as if that would help. "There's water all around us, on every side. The bottom of the 'carrier's flooded, if you go busting out like some He-man, the water will all flood in, you'll kill me, got it?"

Thor considered it for a moment. "Can I not simply carry you to the surfa-"

"_No_," Tony seemed to be getting annoyed now. "Again, I told you: I can't hold my breath that long, not to mention the water pressure at this depth is pretty crazy-"

"Then what are we to do? Will you not run out of air in here eventually?"

The genius squinted at Thor in surprise, although he paused only a moment before answering. "Uh, yeah. But- wait, what d'you mean, 'you' run out of air? You gonna hold your breath or something?"

Thor shrugged. "I do not require air as you do," he said simply, hoping he wouldn't have to explain because he didn't have an explanation.

Tony scratched his head and sighed. "Right. Of course you don't. Silly me."

* * *

**A/N: More Loki next chapter; I felt like this chapter was light on Loki but the next bit should have more of him. And, oh yeah, a lot of you guys wanted Thor to get separated from Loki somehow- I hope you're satisfied! The poor thing's all distraught now! ;D I guess we'll see how he and the other Avengers get along without Thor.  
(I'm sure a lot of you would have liked to see Tony deal with Loki along with the rest of them, but I felt that he and Thor are the two people most commonly featured alongside Loki in fics, thus I opted to leave them both out, give the others a chance to hang out with him. XD)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I was hoping I'd get this update out in the next 2 weeks at least, but then Takada Saiko asked me when the next update would be and I decided to hunker down and get this chapter out last night (and maybe stayed up later than I should have XD). So you guys can thank her! Or you can thank her by checking out her awesome fics. ;D**

**So sorry for the angst storm this chapter. **

* * *

**Chapter 10**

It wasn't as if Loki knew he was there, but Steve couldn't bring himself to leave his cowering form. The trickster god remained huddled in the corner, wide eyes staring straight- not that he would look anywhere else.

Steve had sat down a few feet away from the other, although he wasn't sure why he was even bothering, there was no way he knew he was there.

"You know, Loki," started Steve, still feeling ridiculous but somehow it felt _right_ to speak, "I'm sure your brother will be fine...He'll...he'll be back soon." What else was there to say? Why was he even saying anything at all? The captain shook his head at himself. _Stupid._

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Loki trying to- in what he assumed was _discretely_ -feel about in front of him with a hand, as if he expected someone to be there. Was he looking for Thor, or Steve? Although the blonde doubted he even _knew_ that it was him that had touched him.

Slowly, the trickster felt along the wall and stood up, keeping his back against the hard surface. Steve felt himself mirroring the movements as he slid up as well. _What is he doing?_ Loki then felt his way around the room, keeping to the wall, breathing somewhat heavily but steadily. Steve followed behind him. What should he do?

When the mischief god reached the bed he felt its surface with both hands as he began to move around it, then, several things happened that caught Steve by surprise. First, Loki's face went blank, then it looked as if he were thinking intently, then his brows furrowed as a pained expression spread across his features. His face then scrunched up in a fierce scowl. The next thing that happened made Steve jump back in surprise: Loki grabbed at the covers on the bed and ripped them off- quite literally, in fact, he heard the sheets tearing. The god then turned on the pillows and began ripping out their stuffing, feathers flying everywhere; in almost the same moment, his foot caught the end table next to him and he smashed a fist on its surface, splintering it to pieces. All the while the trickster growled angrily, breathing hard with a mask of pain and fury.

As Loki stumbled across the room- unheeding of anything that might trip him -he ran into the closet door.

Before he did anything else, Steve yelled, "Loki, stop!" _What is wrong with me? He can't hear you!_

But the dark-haired god had already put his foot through the wood of the closet door, his arm breaking through as well. Loki made a frustrated sound at it when his leg got caught in the wood, then haphazardly ripped it out in anger. He hadn't braced himself, however, and fell backward when he lost his balance; on instinct, Steve ran up behind him and caught the god before he hit the floor. Immediately, Loki yelped and jerked to his feet, scrambling away from the captain.

Suddenly, the door burst open, Clint and Natasha standing at the ready with weapons drawn. "What the hell is going on here!" shouted the archer.

Loki made desperate breathy noises in his throat as he crashed into the wall with his back, but he didn't seem finished with his...whatever it was he was doing. His foot caught on a medium-sized table near the window and he turned on it and sent a violent fist through the wood, breaking it in half.

"What the hel-" Clint started again as he was about to move forward, but he and Natasha both jumped out of the way when a chair flew passed them. Natasha rolled and landed gracefully inside the room, Clint had nowhere to go as he was near the wall so he flattened himself against it. "Cap, seriously-!"

"Don't go near him!" yelled Steve.

"What?!" yelled the archer back, eyes wide and confused. Natasha's eyes were watching the god intently but she looked less surprised.

Loki broke the other chair as he smashed it against the wall next to him- it was clear he had no idea _where_ he was throwing the pieces of furniture, he didn't seem to have an aim.

Steve inched closer to the other two but stopped. "He might be blind, deaf and mute, Clint, but he still has his strength," he said quickly as Loki continued to assault pieces of furniture. "Just get out of here," his voice raised an octave, "he could kill you two!"

Neither agent needed to be told twice as they rushed out and closed the door behind.

The truth was, Steve didn't know why he didn't just leave as well. It wasn't like _he _was exactly a match for Loki, either, but just abandoning the panicking trickster just seemed...cruel, somehow. Even so, he wouldn't let his compassion outweigh his common sense; Loki had just broken what looked like a solid oak table with one hand and he didn't seem to be slowing down.

His next target seemed to be a mirror that was hanging on the wall next to the window. At first, Loki had touched it and moved on, then, pausing, he returned to it.

For a moment there was silence, nothing except the god's strained breathing through his nose and Cap's rapidly beating heart. Slightly bruised hands slowly felt along the surface of the mirror and Loki seemed to be calming down. The god tilted his head, looking at it as if he could see himself in the reflection.

_Should I do something now?_ He wasn't sure if Loki would freak out again so he waited. _But for how long?_ This...outburst didn't happen for no reason, and whatever the reason, Steve didn't think it was good. _Bruce._ He needed Bruce in here, he was a...sort of doctor. Or maybe Natasha might know how to soothe the trickster, she could read anybody.

Strange hitching sounds, of breaths catching in a throat broke through Steve's thoughts. Was Loki...crying?

It was true, he could see it in the mirror the god was still touching with both hands, fingers tentatively resting on the surface. It occurred to him that Loki's eyes were _healing_- at least a little bit -if he was able to cry now-

Steve flinched fiercely when Loki suddenly crashed both fists against the mirror's glass; then he did it again, and again, and again, and again- _What should I do?_ Steve thought, nearly in a panic himself.

When the god continued to assault the glass, the pieces falling everywhere, and his hands bloodied, the soldier decided, _enough is enough._ As Loki began sobbing, Steve rushed forward and wrapped arms around him to grab at his wrists, pulling him backward. A strangled sob escaped as he hauled him back, Steve's movements jerky but determined.

"That's enough, Loki!" he yelled, even knowing the other couldn't hear. Loki didn't seem to be fighting back, though, he only went limp and allowed Steve to move him. But before the mirror had gotten five feet away, Loki suddenly screamed- a muffled, frustrated and pained noise -then lashed out at the soldier behind just as Steve felt himself roughly pushed backward. He hit the wall behind with enough force to crack it- it hurt, but he felt a rush of relief that he had sent Clint and Natasha out; if either of them had tried that, they would probably be dead now.

Loki whimpered and slowly bent down, tears streaming down his face and short hiccups leaving him every few seconds. He curled up on the floor in the fetal position, hugging himself tightly. His hands were bleeding as well as his face, although Steve wasn't sure when that had happened.

_What should I do..._ he asked himself again.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

It was the mirror, the mirror that had finally made Loki break down completely- break just like the furniture he knew he had broken to pieces.

The bed had started it. He had been sitting there against the wall, _thinking_, he suddenly hated the feeling, the feeling of _not knowing_. His hands felt around the room that was now familiar, yet somehow, without Thor there, it felt hollow and foreign, not_ home_. The bed reminded him too much of his brother, and when his hands touched it he half expected to feel a leg, or an arm, something that told him it hadn't all been a delusion, or a dream, _something_ that said: 'Thor was here all along, foolish trickster.' But it wasn't true and he _had_ to make his terrible thoughts go away. The thoughts that whispered, _Thor isn't here... You've been abandoned, again... No one is coming for you... Why would they? You're all alone now- were _always_ alone._

The bed's covers were on the floor, he had felt something ripping. Some sort of small table was next. _Why are you fighting? It's all useless, isn't it? He won't come back._ Something soft and feathery flew around him.

There was a door in front of him, its wood felt good breaking beneath his limbs, but it defiantly got caught on his leg and Loki felt himself falling back. _No!_ his mind had screamed when he felt hands on him, catching him- they weren't Thor's and he didn't want them.

He abruptly forgot there was someone else there the next moment, a table becoming his next victim. The chairs he threw away, although one hit something nearby- he felt the pieces hit him.

He didn't care.

_None of it matters- Thor won't come back, he won't come back! Or maybe..._ Loki felt along the wall. _Or maybe he was never here._ A smooth surface passed beneath his fingers and he almost passed it. He thought it might be a window until he felt its edges. The shape was long, it couldn't be a window- all the windows in Thor's room were large enough to span the walls.

A mirror. He knew it was a mirror.

What would he see there if he _could_ see? What color were his eyes now, were they still green? What color had the stitches been? He couldn't remember...

Thor's eyes were blue. Always so blue, like the midday sky on a summer's day, or the clearest crystal ocean before the sun slept at its edge- But what did those blue eyes see when they looked at the mischief god? Did Thor see a brother? A traitor? His burden? A mistake? A cripple? A Jotun runt-

His fists impacted the glass and he barely felt it. He _hated_ that he didn't feel it because he wanted it to _hurt_- wanted it to match what he felt inside.

_He's abandoned me! He's gone! I'm worthless, useless, pathetic! He hates me!_

Two hands around his wrists were dragging him backward now, Loki didn't have the strength to struggle.

He felt wetness running down his face and he wondered if he had cut himself. _He hates me... he hates me..._

Loki didn't remember how or when he ended up on the floor. The wetness kept falling down his face and his breath was short. He felt arms around him for a moment, then realized they were his own, shaking and weak.

_He hates me..._

.

_"W-what are you doing?" Loki stuttered as he felt himself being restrained to a chair he had never seen before as the hooded man behind held his head firmly with both hands._

_The man in front turned around, revealing a long needle and thread._

_Loki's eyes went wide. "No..." He began to struggle. _

Why, why? _Hadn't he been good? Hadn't he done what he was told? Answered when he was asked, moved when he was guided, ate, drank, and slept when he was permitted? _Why?

_"No, please!" he screamed, desperate. "Why are you doing this, please!" He squirmed in the chair._

_He still remembered it. The last time. His nightmares still painted blood falling down his face, the dwarves' needle could still be felt on his lips- a phantom sting of pain that never really left._

_But not again!_

_The man was so close now, his hooded mask revealing no emotion; no hurry but no compassion, either. And what should he expect? His torturers didn't know the meaning of the word. Agony was their craft and they weaved it well. They had put terrible strings into the god of mischief and when they pulled his every part moved where they pleased. Wasn't that enough? Now they would put strings into his mouth to silence him. What was it all for?_

_He wailed when he felt the first stab on his lower lip. It didn't hurt so much, not yet but for the memory that still lingered like a weight waiting to be dragged to the surface._

_Loki struggled more fiercely, a sudden fire burning within, a boiling anger. There was no point to this! For so long he had thought their purpose was simply to punish him, to torture him, but that thought was quickly erased given their odd methods. Questions that made little sense, the way they made him repeat certain actions, say certain words, or _not_ say certain words. They said 'stand here' and 'eat there', the way they beat him if he slept in the wrong position or if he stepped too far one way or the other. He didn't understand why any of it was important, how could it be?_

_The man behind tightened his grip on the trickster's head when Loki tried to pull away. He screamed when the needle pricked his skin again, then again, not stopping even when Loki sobbed and begged them to stop._

_But what was the use? Had they grown tired of him, was this his final punishment? Had Loki failed somehow, why the sudden change?_

_His screams were muffled now and the searing pain made him sick. _No, do not vomit. Do not._ He had done it before, all those years ago and he had thought he would drown in it. But not this time, no._

_Loki breathed deeply; in through his nose and out, in and out, in and out, he concentrated on it with everything he had and gripped the chair until his knuckles were white._

_His torturers didn't wait for the young god to settle; they ripped him out of the chair and forced him, stumbling all the way, out a door Loki had never used before. He barely registered that he was walking on unfamiliar ground. Abruptly, a dark cloth was pulled over his head._

_He didn't know how long he was dragged along, but he could barely keep his feet. And when they demanded he walk more properly he immediately straightened up and tried his best- he couldn't help but obey. _

_"Here," one of them said gruffly, finally, the rough grip on his arms stopping him._

_The black cloth wasn't removed as they manhandled him onto his knees, then flat on his back. The ground was hard, rocky, and Loki knew it was a natural formation, whatever it was, not the floor of a constructed room. Using his other sense, he also noticed it was colder in here, not just his back against the rock but the air as well._

_His wrists were pulled out, taut against metal chains that held firm and left no room to move. Next, his ankles were bound, leaving him even more immobile. _

_Loki wanted to ask what was happening but at the last moment realized his mouth was stitched shut and managed to avoid pulling on the strings. His relief at avoiding the pain was short-lived when he felt a thick metal collar being fastened around his neck, which was also attached to a chain that rattled when it moved._

_He made a noise of protest when it clicked shut and wondered again what this new torture could be. The change in routine unnerved him. He had almost become accustomed to their "sessions" even if they hurt and confused him more and more every day._

_Then, when all was quiet for a time, Loki realized the men had gone. But where had they gone? Was this the way they expected him to sleep?_

_When he felt a warm breath of air and heard a shift of clothing next to his head, he jumped. So there _was_ somebody still in here with him. The breath got closer and he felt the warmth of the body next to him lean down._

_"I am sorry, prince," said the clearly _not_ sorry voice. "Enjoy the rest of eternity in your new cell." The cloth was ripped from Loki's head and he blinked in anticipation of light- but it was pointless, there were no lights._

_The man was gone and Loki was suddenly alone._

_It was black as pitch and he lay quietly, uncertain what to do. _What had he meant?_ The man's words turned over in his head until-_

_A long hiss suddenly reached his ears from somewhere above his head. Loki strained against his bonds, panic growing._

What- what is this?

_There were eyes in the dark, watching._

* * *

**A/N: Not sure what's up with all the angst this chapter, buuut anyway. Maybe we'll see more of Tony and Thor next chapter, but who knows! (I certainly don't, my brain doesn't like to share.) ****As I said, I was up late writing this so if you see any mistakes feel free to tell me.**

******Also, I wasn't sure if you guys realized this, but Loki still has his natural strength (somewhat lessened with malnutrition)- he actually technically has _all_ his abilities, still, but his lack of sensory input makes him vulnerable (not to mention his state of mind).**

******A/N 2: I'll probably be uploading a new fic of mine today. It's a multi-chapter one and it'll probably go longer than this one will. Check it out if you like but it's a bit more 'M' than this one is in some ways, I've put detailed warnings in the A/N.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Ehh, anyone still around to read this fic? ;D A thousand apologies for taking so long to update this, alas, I've been extremely busy lately (as was noted in my profile if any of you checked. And btw, if I go very long not updating in the future, I'll say why in my profile).  
**

**Thanks to everyone who's stuck by and read my insanity and followed, reviewed and fav'd it! Love ya guys. ;)**

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**Chapter 11**

_"M-Mother..." Thor stuttered._

_The Queen of Asgard stepped out of the shadows of the night-painted pillars, face unreadable._

_The prince shifted awkwardly, something he was so unaccustomed to but couldn't help. "What brings you here- I mean, h-how are you?" He tried smiling, tried pushing away his surprise the same way his younger brother might- _How does he _do _that so easily?

_"I might say: 'Speak only truth, my son, for lies are ill fitted to your tongue.' But I see that is not entirely true." Her gaze remained steady, even as her lips twitched in a small smile._

_Thor's brows furrowed slightly, uncertain what to say. Then, he suddenly found his words, unable to conceal his surprise any longer. "You? It-It was _you_?"_

_The queen inclined her head in acknowledgement. "Who else? He is _my_ son as much as your brother." The darkening in her eyes, ever so slight yet- Thor felt a small shiver run down his spine._

_"Of course, but... Why not approach me directly? Why hide in the shadows as-" _as Loki might_, he couldn't say._

_"And why do _you_ hide in the shadows, my son? Darkness has never suited you-" she straightened and breathed deeply. "But this is not the time for this, I have what you came for."_

_Thor frowned. So strange, this was. He had tried, tried so hard for nearly a month to find the location of his brother. His father refused to speak of it, nor even his mother...at the time, seemingly hiding behind her grief. "But Father..." Thor spoke absent-mindedly, his thoughts and concerns slipping out._

_And again, the queen's resolve hardened, yet there was a softness at the core, still. "Your father is blinded in both eyes now. I have spoken to him and even my words fall on deaf ears. He refuses to speak of..." She shook her head, looking down, a small sigh escaping._

_"He is...stubborn," said Thor, quietly._

_Her eyes flashed, yet still so soft. "He is not the only one." Thor almost smiled, knowing she did not mean only _him_. "You will take this," she handed him a small wooden box and wrapped cold fingers around his, "and you will _find him._ I will make no pleas nor appeals to the Norns for you to succeed." A chill ran through Thor at his mother's hard words. "There is no question in my mind that you will succeed. You are my son- but I am a mother of _two _sons. The worlds are incomplete without _two_ Sons of Odin." Her gaze was unwavering. Her hand retracted and her coldness suddenly left by a burning rage well-concealed behind the practiced eyes of an eternal queen. Still, it was clear she was a _mother_ in this instance, there was no doubt in the thunder god's mind._

_Thor moved to leave, questions still warring in his mind like an army attempting to break the borders of his lips. He stopped, feet ready to move. His eyes fell to the floor. "We are..." he didn't turn around, "sons of Frigga, as well." He lifted his head, still not turning. "Now more than ever."_

_His feet carried him away, toward what, he didn't know. _Loki, brother, where are you?

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"You okay over there, blondie?" said Stark, so suddenly Thor nearly jumped. The billionaire smirked. _Jumpy, much?_ he thought. Tony tried to find it funny but it only made him nervous; if the god of thunder was jumpy... What should the rest of them be feeling?

Thor's eyes flitted to his as he ran a tired hand through his hair. "Nothing, Stark."

A knowing nod. "Right. _Nothing_. Sure," his voice lilted. He raised both hands. "Don't let _me _interfere with whatever you're doing over there; it's not like we're stuck here together and I- I repeat, _I_ -might die or anything." He waved a dismissive hand, looking away pointedly. Thor said nothing and Tony couldn't see his face. "No need to console me or anything." Still nothing. _Damn_. Maybe he should try something else? A depressed Thor wouldn't help him- _either_ of them, at all. Nope. "Say," he said cheerfully and looked toward the god, "what's going on with you and Jane, lately? She's still hot, I assume."

Thor shrugged a little but didn't meet Tony's gaze, mind still wandering- or at least he hoped that's what was happening. And what was his deal, anyway? Since he didn't even need to _breathe_, apparently, it wasn't as if _he_ would be dying anytime soon, Tony couldn't help but think, slightly bitter at his near-indestructible friend.

"Well?" Tony tried again. _I'm pretty sure he knows what 'hot' means by now..._ In the past, trying to even _hint_ that Tony was interested in Jane made the thunder god...well, a bit frightening to be around. Thor didn't seem to act that way when Jane herself was around, oddly, but, he supposed, the god thought Tony was being _disrespectful_ or something when she wasn't present. For a guy bent on being a walking, talking white knight cliche, he was strangely willing to let Jane fight her own battles- at least of wit. Tony never meant anything by it- and Jane always gave him a humorous verbal lashing, which neither of them took seriously -it was just too easy to push the god's buttons and then act as if he didn't know what the problem was. Tony sighed. He missed that Thor.

"What is wrong with you?" Thor said suddenly, slight annoyance in his voice.

"Me? What's wrong with _me_?" Tony laughed. "Yeah. 'Cause it's not as if you've been _moping_ over there for the past hour or anything- seriously, what's _your_ deal? It's not as if _you_ can die here-"

Thor stood up abruptly, Tony didn't know what to make of it. "You will _not_ die." He backed down a little. "Fury and the rest of SHIELD will find us before that happens."

"Wow," said Tony, sarcastically. "I didn't think you had that much faith in our favorite pirate- Is this where I worry about you secretly being a spy for SHIELD 'cause I have this bet going with-"

"Stark," Thor sighed heavily, features suddenly so weary, face tilted down.

Tony paused, almost refused to move lest the god's train of thought be interrupted.

"Do you-" Thor started, "Do you believe Loki can ever fully recover?" His glassy eyes met Stark's, and suddenly, more than ever, Tony wanted to be _out_ of here. _Maybe I could re-check that panel over there...for the millionth time._

A line of expletives ran through his mind before he managed to open his mouth. And, _damn_, clearly this wasn't just about the trickster god's _physical_ well-being. "Uh..." he said eloquently. "Um, uh..." Thor stared at him, eyes sad and expectant. _Stop looking at the damn puppy eyes, Stark!_ _What do I look like, Asgard's equivalent of a therapist? Can I see the future now? What the hell, Thor?_

Unfortunately, Tony's hesitance had gone on too long. Thor's eyes closed as he nodded sadly. "As I thought."

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

He wasn't trained for this. No, _no_ he wasn't. Combat. Combat was good. Shooting a gun, that was okay, although he preferred his shield. Giving orders, taking them, fighting for those who couldn't, eating apple pie and saluting the flag. All that, he could do. Easy as the pie he had just eaten, but _this_...

Loki remained on the floor, curled up in a ball and sobbing- and it was so sad that Steve was slightly glad that the god _could_ cry now. What was he supposed to do? Comfort him? Sit down and...do what? Should he do what Thor would? No, he quickly dismissed that thought. Loki had lashed out or freaked out every time Steve had touched him, why should now be any different?

Still not knowing what to do but determined to see it through whatever it took, Steve, slowly, sat down next to Loki, although remained a step away and didn't touch the god. He rested his wrists on his knees and looked around, uncertain what to do next. Sitting here like a log seemed a pointless endeavor, yet what was he to do?

"Loki," Steve sighed to himself, hanging his head, "what should I do." _Leave him be_, perhaps. Or, _do something?_ Were those his only options? Leave him alone- _alone_, like he probably had been for so long, or try to help him and be rejected, pushed away as the unwanted hands, _not his brother_. Only two options. Reject him or be rejected.

Steve stared straight ahead. He narrowed his eyes when he caught sight of something red against the wall- not against, _inside_, and not the wall, the broken closet.

_What is that?_

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

_...He hates me._ What other explanation was there? Loki didn't want to think, didn't want to think because that was all he'd done for so long. So quiet, _so quiet and there's nothing but darkness nothing, nothing but me and there's no one here, or there, or anywhere. _Why couldn't there be anyone? There was only pain, pain everywhere. He couldn't remember if there had been anything after the Serpent, the hiss the only bright point in the endless dark of his life. _No Thor no Thor, there's no Thor not here not there-_

He held himself tighter, hugged his knees to his chest and tried not to wonder why the cold metal wasn't digging into his limbs and neck. _Nothing here- no one, just me- No! Not me, there's no me no me and no them, where am I? _He grabbed his head and pulled his hair. _I can't- I...can't just can't-_ _Nothing to guide me, can't get out-_

A softness grazed his cheek. Loki ignored it, a fabrication of his pained mind, no doubt. He clenched his teeth beneath his tired lips and held his head tighter.

The softness returned, cool against the skin of his face, and next, on his hands that gripped far too tightly and made his head hurt. When it happened a third time Loki flinched back, realizing it _was_ happening and that the soft thing wasn't going anywhere.

For a moment, nothing happened, then, slowly, the cloth rubbed softly against his arms, lightly falling over him. It didn't cover him but it rested on him, not heavy but not very light, either.

_What is this-?_ A little more of it was pushed, gently, into his arms. Suddenly, Loki realized there was someone else in the room with him. _Who is-?_ He jumped up and scooted away quickly, although his back hit something- the bed.

And again, nothing happened for a moment. Slowly, almost cautiously, but with a certain determination, the cloth again slipped onto him, this time draped awkwardly over his pulled-up knees.

Loki tried to understand. He remembered now where he was, in the tower- _Avengers_ Tower, with none other than the Avengers themselves, and Thor- _Thor-_

Suddenly realizing what it was, the cloth, _the cloth_, Loki ripped it off his legs and threw it away. _No!_ _No!_ He flared his nostrils in annoyance, feeling something wet falling down his face. _He's not here! He doesn't get to- _It wasn't a substitute for him, it wasn't _Thor._ But somehow, again, the cloth was placed on his knees. Loki felt a protest sound roughly in his throat as he again ripped the cloth off and toward whomever was repeatedly giving it back to him.

_Stop it!_ Loki's mind screamed. He tried to turn away, tried to get away, but the bed was in the way and Loki couldn't summon the will to push passed it or go around. _No no no no no, I can't- I can't see the red, I don't _want_ to! _Thor was gone and he wouldn't be coming back. Loki was alone, would _always_ be alone. That was the way of things.

It slipped onto his knees again.

_Stop! Stop! Stop!_

He pushed it away, angry, eyes burning with- with... _Crying... I'm-I'm crying. _He shook his head fiercely. _Doesn't matter! He won't come back!_

The red thing, so soft and _familiar_-

He threw it off.

It came back.

He threw it away.

It came back.

Loki cried out, even through his stitches, _begging_ the person to stop. He tried to hide himself against the bed but he couldn't make himself smaller. _He's gone, gone, gone..._

It smelled like him. Smelled like _brother_. His mind refused to comply; he could see the red of the cloth, even now in his mind's eye, a phantom through the darkness he swam in, _drowned_ in. _No please..._

He tried to throw it away again but it stuck in his clenched fist, in the air, waiting, _waiting_ for him to discard it. But before he could, before his fingers could let go and give in, give up- _I am Loki. I am no one's brother. I am no one's son. I am...lost -_fingers, so solid and determined, so unlike him, _not like me_, wrapped around his hand. Through his despair, through _everything_ and _nothing_, Loki couldn't back away, couldn't flail and scream at the one gripping his hand.

Let go, let go.

_You've let go one too many times._

I can't do this, can't- can't do this without _him_, without _Thor._

_We're here, you're not alone. Not alone._

No one ever came for me.

_He did. He did and he'll do it again._

(The cloth didn't slip...)

_Don't let go, Loki. Do it for him. Do it for _you_._

(He held it to himself.)

No.

_Yes._

Can't-

_You can, you _will.

I-

Red surrounded him. Splash of color in the dark. _Dark_... For the first time, it didn't go on forever.

* * *

**A/N: I wanted to go longer with this but the chapter demanded I stop here. Since I'm less busy nowadays, hopefully I won't take too long with updating from now on (until the holidays, that is, lol).**

**Hope you guys weren't confused by the last part! If you were, feel free to ask what the heck's going on, or make your own assumption, either way, ehehe.**

**I really didn't plan on having so much Loki-Steve bonding, but it just came out that way. I guess I feel like Steve is representative of the Avengers as a whole- he's not just their leader, he embodies what they're meant to be, _heroes_, more than anything, and I believe he does it well.**

**Until the next!**


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